It took for me to loose my past identity and everything i thought i had wanted, to awaken to the FACT that what will be, will be. The most recurring commentary i kept thinking was some version of “this isn’t how it was supposed to happen.” I had achieved so much so early in life, lost too much and worked so hard. I should have been wealthy, successful, happy. Instead, I was a mess.
When I stopped fighting with my situation, my scope and options for positive action became crystal clear, and at that point I had a revelation and this was, there is only one thing I’m in full control of – The little space in life that I actually could control—me. I realized i am all i ‘CAN‘ control.
Letting go is a practice, requiring discipline, focus, and embracing open vulnerability as a path to strength rather than shame. It takes time to get good at it, and there is no room for perfectionism.
A key element of letting go is recognizing the presence of what might be called a pathological need. Many times pathological needs stem from traumatic experiences, efforts to negate or undo childhood maltreatment or deprivation.
In many cases, pathological needs stem from unhealthy narcissistic adaptations to unresolved developmental experiences with caregivers who did not meet basic needs required to develop a secure sense of self.
Sometimes it takes real effort to do nothing and simply be in the experience. Especially because most of us want control, and we feel the need to be in charge of every aspect of our lives, especially at junctures when we perceive that our present circumstances are under the threat of change.
When there is nothing to do, do nothing.
The Daoists have a name for this: wu-wei. Wu-wei is non-doing. Action through inaction. The Dao De Ching suggests, “Through nonaction nothing is left undone.”
When we do this, we’re truly living in the present. And we open up the scope for lasting and transformational change, secure in the knowledge that our journey is as individual as we are and that whatever comes next is meant to be.
We start to appreciate the moment in front of us, fully. There is something immensely awesome about the moment in front of us, if we stop trying to change it, trying to control it, trying to have it conform to our idea of how things should be. Just as it is, it’s worthy of our appreciation, gratitude, love.
There is power in letting go. It’s a form of release and self trust. It creates a bond that’s basically unexplainable.
Surrendering is giving up control and this is something I am now becoming good at doing. Have you ever had to try so hard to make something work and it just wouldn’t ? It feels like something is tying up your mind and you can’t break loose. It is absolutely devastating. It’s a control problem.
When you surrender and let things be, you feel more relaxed and you become the observer. You are only able to do this when you realize you are not always in control and this is a form of enlightenment itself.
“Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ~Eckhart Tolle
The ability to surrender is a gift not everyone has access to, especially Narcissists. For instance, a Narcissist wouldn’t be able to not be in power, they become sick and irritating. It becomes hell for them. Their power is in the ability to be obsessed and possessive over their preys which most of the time are empaths. This is a dynamic that exists not only individually, but societally, in relationships, religion itself is narcissistic not to talk of globally.
That aura of negativity or hopelessness that comes with a failure to surrender is, to be blunt, a real turn off for most people. If you want to be the change you want to see in this world and inspire others to a cause, the angry warrior type is probably not going to work.
Maya Angelou once said, “What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” If you’re still complaining or not accepting the reality, how can you change that reality? You’re probably still stuck in the complaining phase.
We are now in the season of Aquarius ♒️ which is all about freedom. It is a season of surrendering. Power has exchanged hands, there is change in the air. Esoterically, the rivers are beginning to unclog and flow. Everything and everyone will begin seeing things for what they are. This will be a period of huge revelations when things become revealed, the shadow disappears and everything comes to light. It’s best to Surrender and let go. What is meant to be, will. You have no control over it.
The real secret key to surrendering or letting go is an art of allowing. A non-attached relationship is healthy, strong and filled with effortless love, compassion and kindness. Once we let go and enter a compassionate personal space, everything else is re-contextualized. When you surrender, you interrupt the emotional feedback loop, it’s just like turning down the volume or clicking mute stops feedback on a video call. This changes everything!
Surrender sounds lame to many people, or perhaps scary. It’s the opposite of what we are constantly trying to do — we are always seeking control, because we don’t like uncertainty.
Personally, nowadays, I can’t say that I immediately accept all that comes my way, but my willingness to surrender to life is a priority, it certainly makes the journey more joyful. And, when you have joy, you are more likely to achieve the end you seek, or better yet, find peace in the journey regardless of the destination.
True inner peace and power actually starts when you let go and surrender. Remember, tomorrow never comes. the time is now .