Let’s Talk Therapy


Talk therapy or psychotherapy as it is widely known is a process where emotional and psychological issues are worked on via communication between a client and a therapist to aid effective healing and change of behavior and overcome problems in a desired way.

Are you feeling overwhelmed with your tasks, your responsibilities, your feelings or your life in general? You tried to stay positive, but your mind goes around in negative thoughts? Psychotherapy could be the best answer for you!

In the modern world, millions of people die every year due to depression, fear, suicide, and many more common emotional and mental health issues. In many countries, there is a huge stigma about mental diseases and people end up not looking for help.

Either you are looking for help for yourself or someone else, or you just want to learn more about it, this is a serious matter and having information about the possible treatments is essential. Therefore, let’s keep reading and find out more about psychotherapy.

The process and benefits of Talk Therapy


Psychotherapy is one of the treatments used to deal with a variety of mental diseases and emotional challenges. It can be used by itself, in combination with medication or in combination with other therapies and alternative medicines. 

Through this process, the professional will help you first identify your problems and in many cases recognize them. Then by means of several different approaches, the psychologist will help the patient face their issues and work through them, in order to control and treat them. This way, the patient will be able to live a happier, lighter and healthier life.

Psychotherapy is about opening up to a therapist about your struggles, in a way that allows your therapist to hear and empathize with what you are going through. Therapists often practice active listening, taking an objective stance and giving their clients useful tools and information to try to make real and meaningful changes in their lives.

By the time you finish the treatment with your therapist, you will find out that not only you were able to face your problems and solve them, but also that you were given the tools to face future issues in your life. You will feel stronger and more capable.

It is also a very practical way of solving many issues and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Most people tend to perceive therapy as a weak medium of healing because, their belief system perceives talking to a professional as a waste of time. But really, there are many underlying issues that stems from deeper psychological wounds that a ‘regular’ person might not be able to see. It is advisable to solve a problem from the root cause other than the surface solution which will not last very long.

Psychotherapy enables you heal mental and emotional issues in a way that is very unique because it challenges your perception and heals you instantly in most cases. Some take a couple of sessions and others like any other medicine goes through a process, a series of medications ( in this case with your therapist).

By talking to a mental health professional, those with anxiety, suffering from grief, and any other emotional struggles have found that their quality of life has improved. Change can happen anywhere from a small increase to feeling completely cured – the spectrum of help provided through psychotherapy is vast and can be long-term.

Those with mental and emotional health problems often feel like there is no way out of their problems. If they cannot be helped by a mental health professional, their first resource outside of medicine is usually self-medicating through drugs or alcohol. Others simply spiral out of control, which can lead to even worse mental disorders down the road or even suicide. By seeking the help of a psychotherapist, your problems and struggles can be minimized by receiving support and the tools you need to better respond to life’s difficulties.

Psychotherapy is advised for cases of:

  • Challenges coping with daily life
  • Physical Illness
  • Treat the impact of trauma
  • Medical illness
  • Overthinking
  • Mental health issues
  • Deal with loss
  • Specific mental disorders like anxiety and depression
  • Spiritual worries
  • Eating disorders
  • Substance abuse

How do you get the most out of psychotherapy?

First, be willing and open to therapy. Many suffering from mental health issues, life’s many obstacles or addictions have a crippling fear of failure or aren’t fully committed to the recovery and healing process. It’s imperative that you cooperate with your psychotherapist and follow any at-home instructions they offer you.

Remember that therapy is a two-way street. Your therapist has responsibilities to treat you competently with approved therapy methods and understanding. You also have a responsibility to be open to what your therapist has to say.

How do I know the therapy is working?

First and foremost, your therapist will establish goals of therapy with you in regards to your current problem. These goals can be both long and short-term, but they should be set out within a few sessions. Short-term goals can be easily tracked, but your long-term goals may be more important to keep in mind. By focusing on the progress you’ve made towards your goals, should be a great way to track your success.

Also, remember to take baby steps, no one wants to be uncomfortable or have to go through a long process to recover, however, that might be what it takes. You probably won’t see instant results, so don’t be discouraged if change doesn’t happen right away. Any type of progress is a process.

The results of psychotherapy?

In order for it to work, the patient must be available, to be honest, and open, and also needs to trust the therapist. The therapist must be respectful and follow the ethical rules of the profession.

The treatment can be held only for a few sessions, or by months or even years. It depends especially on the problem that is being treated, and on the patient.

A healthy life is a wealthy life

There are so many things required to live a standard, enjoyable and fulfilled life. Things like good nutrition, physical exercise, and healthy sleep are extremely important. Therefore, your lifestyle plays a very major role in determining the wholeness of your health. Practices like meditation, yoga and breathwork are very vital to maximize your potential. See yoga and its health benefits.

Despite that it’s also important to ask for advice if you if you are out of balance. No man is an island they say.

If you feel you need some help, to overcome any kind of pressure, be it social, emotional, mental or relationship pressure, It is ok to seek professional or spiritual guidance. It can give you back the joy of life!

Energy cords and how to cut them off

Avatar

Sometimes we don’t know why it’s taking so long to achieve something or why we are always making the same mistake in our lives, or why is taking so long to overcome a situation or the reason why we have a disease that has no specific origin or why we feel bad when we are with someone, or even when we try to finish a relationship but we never succeed. That’s because the energy cords need to be cut. Humans are electromagnetic beings, we are vibrational which means we attract and repel energies like electricity.  In other words, we are composed of oscillating magnetic and electric fields just like this:

The human electromagnetic field

What Are Energy Cords?

We are all spiritual beings. Every minute of every day (including when we sleep), we are sharing energy with fellow humans, animals, and nature. Sometimes we can pick up attachments to others that do not serve ours or their highest good. Energetic bonds can happen with any chakra, or multiple chakras, within your energy body. Most of these bonds happen naturally—they are with our friends, family, children, co-workers, and neighbors. They are welcome bonds. Helpful energy bonds consist of mutual sharing, respect, trust, and love. But because we are always in a state of growth, sometimes bonds can outlive their purpose. When this happens, cord-cutting can be beneficial to both parties involved.

Cords and attachments can become very problematic for anyone doing energy or psychic work, highly sensitive people, and empaths.

A cord is created by thought and emotion; whether that progresses to a physical relationship has no bearing on the cord existing. Energy is not restricted by time or space. Often, if a relationship also becomes physical, the cord only strengthens. A good example of this is sharing your body in an intimate relationship. How much energy invested in the relationship will also affect how easy it is to remove or sever an unwanted or outgrown bond.

The reason why people cut cords with others is to generally move on from a person and let them go energetically – this means on an energy level. People who we are close to form energetic bonds with us that resemble cords of energy that link one person to the other. These are etheric cords, so think of ether as a kind of energy. Those who have seen the cords (and often we can see them in meditation for example) describe them as dark in color. The bonding itself can be light with just a slim cord, or you can be corded heavily with another through your chakras and can have multiple thick cording that literally shows your attachment, either mentally, emotionally, sexually, or all of the above.

Have you ever heard of the need to cut energy cords? Everything in the universe is energy. We can approach it by using quantic physics research – that shows us that our body has energy centers of information that are continuously sending and receiving information (or energy), creating transformation and affecting matter – or by simply noticing our body energy patterns.

We have a large magnetic field that protects us from the energies in our environment, but most of the times we don’t know how to protect ourselves from that energies that are not healthy for us and cords or attachments are created especially because most people are not conscious of this.

Cords can come from childhood or adulthood relations or even from past lives. It may be that you never felt loved by your father as a child and you are running the pattern of needing love and attention that makes you create dependency relationships with other men.

It may be that you never felt loved by your mother and you activate the pattern of needing others to fill the hole inside you, creating relationships commanded by high expectations that, obviously, never succeed. Most of these cords are running our lives subconsciously and need to be cut so we can stop feeling stuck and create space for the new in our life.



Symptoms of heavy cording include:

  • Unable to move on
  • Unable to stop thinking or obsessing about a person
  • Frequent conversations in your mind with a person
  • Frequently remembering what they said in the past, feeling their ongoing judgment or criticism
  • Arguments, sometimes daily in your mind with someone (these can be actual psychic arguments)
  • Constant memories or emotions that arise – i.e. we used to watch that show together
  • Temptation to go back to a relationship that does not serve you
  • Stalking another online through social networking, watching them compulsively
  • Unable to sleep, experiencing amnesia
  • You seem to endless process the past and what happened there
  • Deep feelings of sadness, anger, and depression around the past
  • Feelings of wanting to get revenge, or constantly aware of unfair treatment
  • Crying a whole lot, an emotional wreck
  • Turning down other offers and invitations, feeling uninterested
  • Becoming stuck in the past, not looking for new opportunities

With Whom Should We Cut Cords?

You can cut the cords with any person who is bothersome to you psychically, mentally and emotionally. This is to say anyone who sends you strong energy and who intrudes on your thoughts and emotions even when you are alone. If you are done with a person but find they always intrude on your thoughts and you can feel them around you or in your mind, you can cut the connection by cutting the etheric cords that attach the both of you.

Some people with strong sexual bonds can find relief here as well by disconnection your sexual chakra to theirs, if such a bond was once formed. If an old flame was harmful or hurtful to you in some way, being free on all levels is incomparable. You literally move on and a new space is formed around you. You can then proceed to fill that space with more amiable and pleasant thoughts and feelings.


You can also cut the cords with any person who has abused you, either physically or emotionally. Victims of any crime (rape, beating, even bullying) can form bonds with the perpetrators that continue on energetically, even long after the crime. Cutting these bonds will help healing that much faster. This will help you to release the pain and clear out your energy field or aura of that trauma.

You can certainly continue to cut the cords until they no longer recur and you have completely moved on. If a cord cutting fails, this indicates you are not willing to really let someone go yet. This is okay, it just means you aren’t truly ready to move on. There may be a lesson in this relationship you have yet to master and your current attachment is giving you the opportunity to learn the lesson for good.

There are some techniques to cut energy cords. We can use chakras cleansing, specific visualizations and meditation on cutting cords as well as aura cleansing.


It’s not an easy process, especially if you belong to the multiverse of empaths like me. Although, as good healers can facilitate our ability to heal, almost all the techniques can be applied by ourselves individually. An example would be:


  1. Find a quiet place where you can meditate. At this moment, you can light incense or do some smudging.
  2. Close your eyes and begin focusing on your breathing.
  3. Once you feel relaxed, envision a thick red cord coming from your tailbone, going deep into the earth, and tying you safely to the core. This is to ground and also to protect you.
  4. Think on the person, place, or thing that you wish to cut energy cords with.
  5. Visualize the cords and then imagine cutting them, with a scissor, a sword, burning them off or just removing them by hand.
  6. Tell this person place or thing that you love them, you wish them well, but no longer will be tied to them. Then remove the cords.
  7. After this, visualize the cord you attached to the core of the earth being untied and coming back up into your tailbone.
  8. Bring your awareness back to conscious reality, and have a good stretch.
  9. Thank your spiritual guides and leave the place.
  10. Repeat this exercise as often as you need.

What might happen after cord cutting?


Despite what you feel in the moment, cutting cords free you and allow you to quickly and painlessly move forward. Like suddenly everything starts working in your life and pushing you to another level of evolution in different areas.

You can also cut and prevent cords by forgiving, avoiding an internal (and external) speech of drama and negativity. You can also do it by avoiding people and environments that drain your energy. Overthinking about non healthy attachments to people or situations and, generally, by raising our vibration and try to be connected with nature and with the present moment.


In simple terms, you can expect to find your mind no longer dwells upon the person as the psychic attachment has been dissolved. Your mind is quieter, calmer and it is like cleaning out a closet – all those old emotions associated with that person dissolve as the communication between you ends. You now have extra space in your mind to fill with something better, and you will certainly be clearer in intent.


Imagine the freedom you can feel having that extra peace of mind, letting go of unwanted baggage, not to mention being free emotionally as well. If this sounds too good, you may be wondering why don’t we all do this on a regular basis, why don’t people know about this? The reason is simply we are never taught. In a world where we tend to believe in only what we see, such psychic cords of attachment go unnoticed and so we tend to carry unwanted energy and connections around with us many more years than we need to.

If you happen to have personal questions and need guidance on exactly how to do this. Feel free to write me. Sending everyone of you peace, freedom and love.


The transformational power of crying

In our society today there tends to be an underlying assumption that emotions are negative, and more specifically that crying is weakness, being ‘childish’ or giving into negativity. Some folks believe it’s something that is meant to be hidden, controlled or suppressed. But in reality, tears hold a special kind of power to cleanse your mind, reconnect the head and heart and realign you with the power of your soul.

Even the very popular and widely accepted “scientific studies” have validated this and shown that people do feel better after a good cry. Crying is a powerful way to let go of sadness and anger, past hurts, grief and wounds.

When you cry, it’s your body’s natural response to whatever challenging emotion has appeared in your inner space.

Crying is an act of physical, and emotional detoxification. Think of each tear as a physical representation of sadness and stress that you’re now letting go of.

If you stop yourself from crying, and don’t use some other technique to release the sadness or ‘clogged stress’ within it can and will build up to a point of depression, or overwhelm.

So if you feel like crying… Let the tears flow. Have a good cry, experience this powerful form of release, detox, unclogging and let it go.

Crying is an essential part of the healing process. 

Sometimes, due to the idea of always being strong, we forget that our bodies contain 70% percent of water which needs to move. Water is not in a solid state. It requires motion. So if you do not allow it, it will create another way to flow. Remember this, if you go through life withholding your deepest worries and sadness. These build up and affects the other major areas of our life subconsciously. It might even manifest as crying in the dream state or waking up feeling very emotional.

Have you ever woken up from a dream crying?

Perhaps you are grieving a loss and are uncomfortable crying publicly. Sometimes we believe being strong means having a stiff upper lip and holding our emotions inside. Our bodies know when we need to release the pain, waking up crying let’s the emotions escape through our tears. This happened to me when I was grieving the loss of a loved one. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to grieve and let go until I became conscious of the necessity to grieve, accept and let go.

Crying is your body’s release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety and frustration. We can have tears of joy, say when a child is born or tears of relief when a difficulty has passed. Personally, I use crying as a healing tool and I am indeed very grateful when I cry because I know its power regardless of the reason. It’s a cleansing way to purge stuck emotions often held in my body. To stay healthy and release stress, I encourage my clients to cry. I use this during psychotherapy and aura cleansing as well. Tears can help people heal from hurtful psychological experiences in life, just as there are natural body processes that promote physical healing.

You may have released all the grief, or there may be more to come. Either way, when you wake up crying, it is good and healing. (Don’t you always feel much better after a cry?) Even if you don’t remember the dream, rest assured that tears are better out than in, and although you may become more aware, in the next few days, of a past event that caused you grief, you are well on the way to finally letting it go and moving on.

Crying has a purpose. 

Sometimes when we stay strong for a very long time and just suppress all our pain and emotions our body sends us a signal. Your tears is the way your body talks to you. It happens during emotional meltdown, high anxiety or depression. It is OK to cry and to be sad. We are not robots and embracing our sadness is the most empathetic act of love we could take towards ourselves.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”

~ Washington Irving

Scan back over all your experiences of crying, and you’ll notice that they’re quite varied, not just in your reasons for crying, but in the quality of the cry itself, and in the effect that crying had on you. Was it one of those cries that left you feeling much better afterwards: relieved, lighter, less sad, more free? Or did it make you feel even worse, like you wish you had just managed to keep it contained and not cry at all?

High-quality crying is crying that maximizes crying’s healing effects. 

Society has totally brainwashed our men into perceiving tears as a sign of weakness and its only meant for women. Perhaps ‘boys don’t cry’, or you were advised to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’, or you accepted a hurtful situation as normal or something to be endured, so you packed grief away, out of sight. Or perhaps the only way to get through a situation was to pretend to yourself that it wasn’t happening, or wasn’t important, or that you were coping wonderfully, or needed to smile for others, or that you had already healed.

These, and other forms of denial, are like Band-Aids. They work on the surface, but the deeper wound still hurts, affecting how you live your life.

One day the grief finally breaks through – perhaps accompanied by a dream of a dam bursting, or a tsunami breaking – and you wake up crying.

If you can remember your dream, look for clues about your grief, as understanding the past will help you to accelerate your healing.

Crying is liberating. Sometimes, when we watch a sad movie, it’s inevitable not to cry. This is because, without realizing it, we release all the tensions and frustrations of everyday life during crying. After a shower of tears we feel tired, but also pretty much lighter and calmer, isn’t it? But what does it mean waking up crying and dreaming about tears? Are we suffering from something? Could it be a bad omen? That’s what we’re going to talk about now.

What does it mean to wake up crying?


It depends on a lot of factors when we wake up crying, not remembering what happened in the dream, means that we have repressed hurts or some trauma that we urgently need to deal with. It’s time to take stock of your life and see what ails you so much, put an end to what is bad. Living with grief only brings more suffering and still delays our achievements and goals.

Dreaming of crying with happiness

Crying with happiness indicates that you need to let your intuition speak louder. Especially if you need to make an important decision, close your eyes and silence your reason for a while. Listen to your heart and the answer will come.

Dreaming that someone else is crying

This dream can mean a partnership with an innovative person, who will add a lot to your life. It can be a new love, a partner at work or a new friendship. The important thing is to take advantage of everything that this new relation can bring and let that grow together.

Dreaming of a crying child

If you dream that a child is crying, don’t worry. It’s not a bad sign. Quite the opposite. This indicates surprises on the way, both in love and family life. Who knows, maybe a baby will come to cheer the house.

Benefits of crying include:

Pain & Stress Relief 

Mood Enhancing 

Grief Buster 

Emotional Stability 


You may need to learn to cry again

For many of us, gaining access to tears at all is a challenge. 

If, as a man, you want to reclaim crying, or if you want to help a man reclaim his ability to cry, it helps to start slow. Learning to get back in touch with sad feelings requires that we slowly start to sense the sadness, and other feelings, as sensations in our bodies, and then to follow the impulses that those sensations produce.

Men feel just as much as women, though we often need to get back in touch with the feelings we’ve lost contact with — literally get back in touch with them. Making crying sounds and motions without tears can help you retrain your body to allow crying to take place.

There’s no rush, however. Taking the time to notice sadness without tears, and to give yourself room to feel it, can be just as important as crying.

So, let’s sum it up: what does crying do? It’s a self-cleansing mechanism that helps us recover from any kind of psychological distress. Why do we cry when we’re sad? To release ourselves from stress and toxins, and ultimately bring us back to tranquility. And why does crying make you feel better? Because crying releases endorphins, which are the ultimate healing power of tears. So remember: although you have to be strong in times of adversity, sometimes you just need a good cry in order to keep going. So whenever you feel like it, cry and release yourself!

If you feel like crying, don’t suppress it… Let your tears flow so you can purify your mind, body, and emotions of stress and negativity… On the other side is a new level of peace, love, and light.

Fear of abandonment


Let’s talk about this very common fear in our society and it’s different attachment styles. The fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety about losing your loved ones. It is quite common with people who have lost a loved one. So this results into making you feel like the people in your life will disappear if you don’t put all of your efforts into relationships or you might run away from every relationship because you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. Either way, you might have a fear of abandonment.

This fear doesn’t just make a home in your chest overnight. It’s linked to the different experiences you have had with people over the years. You may feel this enormous fear because of a childhood experience or because of an abusive ex-lover.


Abandonment issues also happen when a parent does not provide the child with consistent warm or attentive interactions, leaving them feeling chronic stress and fear. Naturally children are expressive and they need love. Our body holds memory and life is like a repetitive circle. The experiences that happen during a child’s development will often continue into adulthood. This is why abandonment issues become more prevalent as you get older and can affect your relationships.

Abandonment fear could also stem from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death, separation or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.

How can the fear of abandonment be avoided?

Only the constant presence of parents or guardians in childhood, with affection and attention, can bring the security that the child needs. This way they feel that their survival will be guaranteed and they do not need to be afraid.

In the case of the child who has had conflicts in school and the unsafe partner in the adult relationship, they are both acting unconsciously as a way of drawing the attention of the mother or partner. Calling attention to yourself is an unconscious way of feeling secure.

The child begins to create mechanisms to raise the attention of parents from a very young age. When their brain realizes that their behavior is successful, that it works to gain attention, it becomes automatic so they feel safe and protected. In adult life, the same thing happens: if the fear of abandonment makes your partner try to give you more security, the insecure uses this fear as a way to gain more attention.

Types of Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues can present themselves in three insecure attachment styles. These are: 

Avoidant Attachment Style

People who follow this style don’t allow anyone to get close to them. You may feel like you can’t open up or trust others, making you appear distant, private, or withdrawn. 

Anxious Attachment Style

People with this type of attachment style cope by developing intensely close and dependent relationships with others. You may feel anxious about separating yourself from your partner and tend to be emotionally reactive. It may be easy to see conflicts as a concern that your partner may leave, which makes you act out of fear. 

Disorganized Attachment Style

People with this attachment style have difficulty remaining intimate and close but can also be inconsistent. You may feel anxious about being in a relationship or want to avoid the closeness. This attachment style may come with other potential disorders. 

Signs you are suffering from fear of abandonment

1. You give too much in relationships

Due to your fear of abandonment, if you choose to start a relationship with someone, you go all in.

You do whatever it takes to please this person and to make them happy.

This goes to the extent of forgetting about your own wants and needs, because theirs are more important to you.

However, forgetting about your own boundaries in the name of a relationship is a clear sign you have a fear of abandonment.

You give too much and receive too little.

Relationships require work from both sides.

If he doesn’t deem all your efforts to be loving and caring acts, then it’s his fault, not yours. You don’t deserve to be in a one-sided relationship.

2. You push people away to avoid rejection

Another sign of your fear of abandonment is if you choose to avoid relationships altogether.

You push people away and don’t let them see your vulnerable side all because you’re scared you’ll get attached to them.

What happens when you get attached? You give them the possibility of hurting you.

You fear rejection because it is a direct blow to your self-esteem. It literally activates your anxiety and fear of abandonment.

That’s why it’s easier to stay away from people than to give them the possibility of hurting you.

3. You are very codependent

A very obvious sign of a fear of abandonment is when you have mostly been involved in codependent relationships.

You thrive on the fact that a person makes you feel needed, even if it’s anything but healthy.

You want to be helpful in every single way possible and they exploit that.

Your previous partners might have seen that they could take advantage of your fear of abandonment and they treated you whatever way they pleased, because they knew you wouldn’t leave.

4. You feel insecure in yourself and with your partner

As said previously, a fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety and it brings a lot of insecurities into your life.

Your fear is the main reason behind the fact that you feel extremely insecure in yourself.

You’re always looking in the mirror and nitpicking all the reasons why you deserve to be heartbroken.

This also transfers into a romantic relationship because if you don’t love yourself right then you can’t love your partner right.

You’re always questioning when he’ll leave you and you see every small fight as the end.

When he’s mad at you for whatever reason, you see that as a sign that he’ll leave you immediately, even if it’s not true.

5. You persist with unhealthy relationships

If you have a fear of abandonment then you should be able to spot it in the number of unhealthy relationships in your life.

Whether it is romantic relationships, friendships, or very unhealthy family links, you always end up as the victim.

This is because you sabotage connections by either being extremely emotionally unavailable or being very clingy.

If the other party is the one who is toxic toward you, you might not even realize it out of the fear that you might get your feelings hurt.

So you end up staying in that relationship as you can’t help it.

6. You’re very clingy

Because of your insecurities and your fear of abandonment, you can also be extremely clingy. What does this involve?

Besides always wanting to be physically around your partner, you’re also always texting and calling him.

If you do get a moment away from your partner, you get extremely anxious and you don’t even realize you’re being clingy.

Your fears and anxieties are valid, but you need to realize that no one is going to leave you permanently just because they have gone out with their friends for the night.

7. You’re jealous

Another very clear sign of a fear of abandonment is when you yourself are an extremely jealous person.

You fear that your partner will find someone better than you and leave you for them.

You see every other woman as a threat.

This leads to very uncomfortable conversations with your partner, where you’re always asking him about the women in his life, even if it’s just co-workers.

A little bit of jealousy can be adorable at times, but when it becomes a symptom of your fear of abandonment, it’s not that cute anymore.

8. You’re in a state of constant anxiety

When you think of your partner, your first instinct isn’t to feel happiness, but rather anxiety.

Your smile fades whenever you think of him and you feel your stomach make a flip.

All of this because you think about all the bad things that could happen in your relationship that may lead to a breakup.

Your first thought might even be the last time you did something wrong in your relationship and he got mad.

This anxiety doesn’t leave you. It gets less obvious when you’re right next to him, but it never truly disappears.

9. You feel unworthy of love

Your insecurities, your clinginess, everything comes from a deeply-rooted fear of abandonment. Just like the fact that you feel unworthy of love.

You feel like no one will ever be able to love you. Even if they say they do, you take that with a grain of salt.

Long-Term Effects of Abandonment Issues

A person who has experienced abandonment may be more likely to have long-term mental health issues. These are often based on the fear that abandonment will recur. A child who was abandoned by a parent or guardian may have mood swings or anger issues. These behaviors become an automated lifestyle that can alienate potential intimate partners and friends. A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support, love or care.

Abandonment fears can impair a person’s ability to trust others. They may make it harder for a person to feel worthy or be intimate. These fears could make a person prone to anxiety, depression, codependence, or other issues. Someone who lacks self-esteem due to childhood abandonment may seek relationships that reinforce their beliefs because that’s the language they understand.

Maintain a positive mind is a way to treat this fear


To overcome this fear, you need to do the following:

  • Maintain a positive attitude and mindset
  • Learn about yourself
  • Understand the people around you
  • Practice the habit of forgiveness
  • Say what you feel (Be clear in your communication with anyone including your partner)

When it comes to relationships, usually the detachment in relationships happens because of some concern that a person is feeling and that their thinking cannot be in focus. The greater the degree of understanding and companionship to overcome this problem, the greater the chances of living healthy relationships, which are based on affection and not on lack or fear of losing. When you are aware of the feelings you both experience, you are most likely to live in peace and harmony.

How to heal the wounded inner child

Children are born without any means to defend themselves or face the world. Children are totally dependent upon their parents for love, acceptance, and shelter. Sometimes parents fail to provide the emotional, psychological, and physical shelter required for healthy children. This results in adults who are stuck in trauma-time who remain forever ruled by an inside force, the wounded inner child. In Africa where I come from, most parents beat, punish and maltreat their children in order to discipline them. Even worse they barely listen to them which traumatizes them from an early age and they grow up with a different mentality of what love and acceptance truly is.

The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, empty and unhappy.

Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.

Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials. Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent to us as human beings.

The process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, of pain. Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.

The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on your daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.

Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.

Connect with your inner child


Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.

Signs that you have a wounded inner child

There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child. These inside parts of ourselves have a significant impact on how we see ourselves and how we behave as adults. Some signs you have a wounded child might include that :

  • You feel there’s something wrong with you
  • You experience anxiety when you face something new
  • You want to please everyone around you
  • You experience the need to be in conflict
  • You feel inadequate
  • No achievement feels enough for you
  • You always criticize yourself
  • You are rigid and perfectionist
  • You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
  • You have trusting issues
  • You never feel close to others.
  • Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
  • Are a people-pleaser
  • Are a rebel and feel alive when in conflict with someone else
  • You are a hoarder
  • Are not able to let go of possessions and people
  • Experience anxiety with something new
  • Feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • Are driven to be a super-achiever
  • Are ridged and a perfectionist
  • Have problems starting and finishing tasks
  • Exhibit constant self-criticism
  • Feel ashamed at expressing emotions
  • Feel ashamed of your body
  • Have a deep distrust of anyone else
  • Avoid conflict, no matter what the cost
  • Have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.

Repeat supporting affirmations

  1. I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
  2. I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
  3. You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
  4. I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
  5. I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
  6. Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
  7. You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.

You can create other affirmations or mantras that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!

Write a letter to your inner child

Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.

You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.

If needed, you can repeat both practices as many times as necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.

Do an inner child visualization or meditation

Search for mantras, meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a coach or therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.

  1. Close your eyes
  2. Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
  3. Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
  4. Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
  5. Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
  6. Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
  7. Come back to where you were.
  8. Talk to your adult self to ask for aid in grown-up decisions
  9. Give rewards to yourself every day
  10. Get plenty of sleep
  11. Practice mindfulness to remain present
  12. Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward
  13. Think about the good memories you had in childhood
  14. Make new “good” memories and traditions

After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light. This is a very powerful tool that helped me personally on my healing journey anc could be the turning point you need.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.

Practice mindfulness to remain present Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward Think about the good memories you had in childhood Make new “good” memories and traditions

If you are interested in working with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet, I hope you do. If you would also like a deep healing approach or if you prefer one on one help, feel free to drop a comment down below or send me an email. Would be glad to be of assistance.