How to heal from depression through psychotherapy

Depression brutally assaults us and promotes hopelessness. This is because depression is not a pure feeling but an effort to ward off a complex mix of unwanted ones. Anger, frustration, irritation, and grief are feelings we tend to find intolerable, we don’t want to feel them, we avoid them. When we’re depressed, we’re engaging in a psychic battle to blot out these unwanted feelings. It’s a battle with your self. Usually, the part of yourself you’re scared to face or the part you’re traumatized by. Common psychic defenses against painful feelings include ignoring feelings, projection.

We got to do better at becoming our best selves everyday. In today’s world, depression carries with it a very high cost in terms of relationship problems, family suffering and lost work productivity and mental illnesses. Yet, depression is highly treatable.

Every feeling is a state of mind . Hence, depression is a state of mind of being deeply pressed over a situation.

States are locations, a state of mind– is a location in your mind and we can change locations cant we? The intention of this post is to remind you that every kind of sickness is a mental state of being as it is physical. Therefore, if we can heal the mind we can heal the body and vice versa. All you need do is change your state (location) of well-being and you can heal the illness. In my last post, Let’s Talk Therapy, i wrote about what psychotherapy is and how it plays a major role in helping to alleviate the most common types of disorders or illnesses.

When depression appears in your life, think of it as a cry for help from your subconscious. Listen to it, find out what it’s trying to tell you. Only when you confront and understand the true cause of your depression, then take action to address it, will you finally be liberated from it no matter what the temperature outside.

What Causes Depression?

Depression does not have one single cause. It can be developed for a number of different reasons, some include:

Stressful life events. An upsetting incident such as a death in the family or the breakdown of a romantic relationship can lead people to depression. Job stress or financial woes are also common causes. Early life experiences can also play a role. People who try to deal with these issues on their own and shut themselves off from family and friends are especially vulnerable to developing depression.

Personality and heredity. People who have certain personality traits are also susceptible to depression. Those who are excessively self-critical or have very low self-esteem are at particular risk. Moreover, if you have a family history of depression – such as a depressed parent or sibling – it is possible you could become depressed yourself. However, this is not a given, many people with such histories do not become depressed.

Illness and aging. Any illness can trigger depression in certain individuals, especially if it has repercussions on your activity level or sex life. In particular, people with life-threatening or recurrent illnesses are prone to depression. Thyroid problems and head injuries can also lead to mood swings. In addition, aging can make some people feel depressed.

Drug and Alcohol Use. People who turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with problems are more likely to end up even more depressed because these substances can bring on or worsen depression. Moreover, those who become addicted often experience family or work problems, which can also contribute to depression.

Giving birth. Postnatal depression can be triggered by the emotional, physical and hormonal changes that accompany giving birth as well as the responsibility and challenges of caring for a baby and changes in the family structure.

Core Symptoms of Depression

  1. A persistent low mood and/or feelings of sadness, with or without weepiness.
  2. Lack of energy and motivation: this is marked by lack of interest or pleasure in activities you may have previously enjoyed.
  3. Sleep problems
  4. Appetite changes
  5. Tiredness
  6. Sluggish movements or agitation
  7. Difficulty in concentrating and day to day problem solving
  8. Feelings of guilt and/or worthless
  9. Suicidal thoughts

How to hunt down your own depression

Rather than viewing depression as a monster to flee from, look it in the eye, investigate the feelings that you are “depressing” and avoiding. For example, you may say, “I feel depressed today.” The questions that follow should be: Why today? What am I ignoring? What issue am I not addressing?

When does depression need treatment or psychotherapy?

Any bout of depression that lasts more than two weeks can benefit from treatment, and the earlier it is begun, the better. Early treatment has the highest likelihood of bringing about full remission of symptoms and preventing relapse or recurrence. The so-called burden of depression is great, as the disorder is a major cause of missed work and poor productivity, and it has a devastating effect on relationships, family life, physical health, and general quality of life.

How Does Psychotherapy Help Depression?

Psychotherapy helps people with depression:

  • Understand the behaviors, emotions, and ideas that contribute to his or her depression.
  • Understand and identify the life problems or events — like a major illness, a death in the family, a loss of a job or a divorce — that contribute to their depression and help them understand, which aspects of those problems they may be able to solve or improve.
  • Help to restructure ways of thinking, negative attributes and attitudes someone has about himself, and ways in which faulty thinking may perpetuate depression.
  • Regain a sense of control and pleasure in life.
  • Learn coping techniques and problem-solving skills.

Types of Therapy for Depression

Therapy can be given in a variety of formats, including:

  • Individual: This therapy involves only the patient and the therapist.
  • Group: 2 or more patients may participate in therapy at the same time. Patients are able to share experiences and learn that others feel the same way, and have had the same experiences.
  • Marital/couples: This type of therapy helps spouses and partners understand why their loved one has depression, what changes in communication and behaviors can help, and what they can do to cope.
  • Family: Because family is a key part of the team that helps people with depression get better, it is sometimes helpful for family members to understand what their loved one is going through, how they themselves can cope, and what they can do to help.

Approaches to Therapy

While therapy can be done in different formats — like family, group, and individual — there are also several different approaches that mental health professionals can take to provide therapy. After talking with the patient about their depression, the therapist will decide which approach to use based on the suspected underlying factors contributing to the depression.

Therapy Tips

Therapy works best when you attend all of your scheduled appointments and participate actively in the work of treatment. The effectiveness of therapy is not a passive process depends on your active participation. It requires time, effort, and consistency. As you begin therapy, establish some goals with your therapist. Then spend time periodically reviewing your progress with your therapist.

Psychotherapy vs Counseling

Psychotherapy and counseling both use psychological methods to help patients with a mental or emotional problem or disorder.

Some people make a small distinction between the two terms: “Counseling” is a brief treatment that targets a specific symptom or situation, while “psychotherapy” is a longer-term treatment that attempts to gain more insight into someone’s problems. However, many people use the terms interchangeably and over here at Barisity we offer both services.

GIVE IT YOUR ALL OR NOTHING

I’ve discovered that the difference between success and failure is giving and receiving. Everything is transactional. Just like the stock market, forex exchange etc. You decide how much you want to invest and know exactly how much you’re receiving. If you want to achieve anything, you have to be specific of how much you’re willing to sacrifice and there are two things involved here :

1. Acceptance- What ever it takes requires accepting the facts, the possibility. You have to be willing to let go of control and accept what is on the table. Accepting is a two way street. It is letting go and also being in control at the same time.

2. Believe — As the word says “be- live. What does it mean to be-lieve? Believing simply means knowing and accepting. It is unwise to do something you know nothing of isn’t it ? You have to first believe it is possible! This requires GUTS. You have to be courageous and as you know it is a risk. You cannot achieve something you don’t believe is possible. It’s common sense.

When you get to realize that success is a trade and you have to give to get. Then the next question is how bad do you want it ?

Are you willing to go all the way ? To give your all or nothing ? Or do you have fears and doubts that it might not work due to previous experiences, self sabotage, or even fear of actually accomplishing it? These are all forms of control and success doesn’t like control. It likes flow.. surrender.

Take a look at the most successful people you know, or observe, they usually are people that just do whatever they want, dress however they choose, wear whatever they want, and everyone adores their principles. They are mostly school dropouts ( remember you can only drop out of school if you are courageous ). Fearful people will be scared to even dare to miss tests and exams because they are followers not leaders who can do whatever they want. But guess what? Society teaches the opposite. You have to follow the rules to be successful. Whose rules by the way ? “The successful people’s rules”. Isn’t that ridiculous?

You are all that there is. There are billions of cells everyday in your body that are working non stop to keep your digestive, respiratory, reproductive, nervous and all other systems in you alive and healthy. What does that make you ? A boss ! You are the boss of your life. Choose yourself ! Give your all or nothing so that the cells working tirelessly without pay inside you will be more than excited to work even better because you will be making them happy.

Time waits for no one. We don’t have much time left so don’t waste it.Be picky how you spend your time. Be mindful who you invest your time in. Remember, wasted time is worse than wasted money. You can recover money, but once time is wasted. It’s gone ! That time becomes lost forever.

Give it all that you’ve got. Place a bet on yourself. Go all or nothing. Because it’s either you’re alive or dead. There is no in between. Invest your all into your happiness. It’s the best decision you will ever make in this lifetime.

Imagine a life where all the decisions are intentionally made by you. So you’re fully aware of the consequences of your actions and not because it’s a rule made by your fellow human being of equal organs in their body just as you. That is the life you deserve. Think deeply about all the times you could have done something different but didn’t because of rules”, laws etc. Not encouraging you to go breaking laws. But inviting you to begin making decisions that are self thought, self conscious, self dependent and transform your entire existence.

Wake up from the spell you’ve been under and claim your power back. It’s time to grow some balls! Give it your all or if you rather, give it your nothing. The choice is yours.

Self Judgment

We live in a world of control. A world that requires push and pull, as in, it requires gravity to exist. It’s no wonder why we are always at war with ourselves. However, we must learn to be in control of ourselves, what concerns us, what matters to us in our everyday lifestyle, not just personally, but environmentally, universally.

We must learn to find balance in the chaos, no matter how overwhelmed you might be. The fact is, you have every reason to be here right now and if you are reading this right now , and it happens to be that you find yourself confused, doubting, or listening to that criticizing voice in your head, critiquing your life, telling you what you can and cannot say or do, you have the power to transform the energy to love. No matter what you may be experiencing, do not judge yourself. It’s happening for a reason plus that is not your duty, it’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is, to “Do as you may in alignment with your conscience” and let the rest play out.

Stop criticizing yourself. Choose self love. If you love yourself, others will love you, if you judge and criticize yourself, others will judge and criticize you. It is what it is. You should know that whenever you judge yourself, you insert fear into your aura and that lowers your vibration, your battery life, your electro magnetic voltage. Look at it like a phone fully charged, and the more you interact with the phone the battery life reduces, for instance, fear would be like an app, Instagram or maybe a game you’re used to playing on the phone, your battery weakens way faster because of the amount of energy the app has and the time you spend on it. Your daily energy and lifespan increases or reduces based on what you do every day. So, be nice to yourself, be kind, practice self love instead of self judgement.

As it turns out, there are so many different things happening in our society today, distracting, upsetting and emotionally controlling people. As a result, anxiety, depression, fear, self doubt, criticism, self judgment and different types mental issues gradually begin to flood in.. It is your duty to be responsible for what you think, eat and do because you are a part of the universe, a part of the whole and if you do your duty, others will do theirs and on and on.. Then, in little or no time the world will become light again, even better than we have imagined. It will be the change we’ve been collectively working on.

The gift of the present moment

Are you present with yourself ?

Are you here right now? Is it possible you’re still having other thoughts cross your mind even as you’re reading this ?

Well, just checking in..

Most of us experience continuous chatter in our minds. We have so many countless thoughts about the future, the past, or judgments about what is, which just seems to flow through our minds as if in a neverending stream.

Remember, time is now and your mind is a very powerful machine that can be used to build and also to destroy. Your mind works both clockwise and anticlockwise. You’re able to dwell in the past just the same way you fantasize about the future and this creates continuous chatter in your mind.

This chatter, has it’s consequences and disadvantages. The main one is that we are continuously distracted from what’s actually going on in the present moment. In other words, we tend to experience life through our thoughts rather than through direct experience.

When you are present with yourself, you begin a new story. You create a new reality. You are creating in the now. The highest reality is THE GIFT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Everyday is a gift, a present. Open it up and live it.

When you refuse to open up yourself and live in the now, overthinking, worry, anxiety, depression and many other low vibrations find a new home through a hole in your aura to gladly enter.

We live in a mental world. So it requires a bit of discipline to live in the now and a lot of love and gratitude. If I were you, I’ld choose right now because it is all you are certain of.

Every thing you might have or had or want is either in the past or in the future. They are imaginary (the mentality ie, it’s all in the head). It is not present, not now. The now is the present moment. The present reality.

Where are you mentally now?

Do you know where you are emotionally now?

What about as an evolving being right now?

These are the questions you should ask yourself as you evolve on this endless journey. Below is a video talking about the advantages and benefits of living in the present moment.



If you want to experience the benefits of living in the present, you want to start using ways that allow you to focus on the present moment little by little. 

It’s a matter of moving your attention away from your thoughts and towards what’s actually happening here now.

The present is a gift, open it up.

Yoga and it’s health benefits

As an empowerment coach, I’ve come to realize that early morning stretch or exercise requires discipline and yoga is a very powerful way to discipline your mind through your body. It has so many benefits including mental health wellness, emotional health balance and so on ..

Yoga is a spiritual, mental and physical practice that has been around since ages. With time, people have discovered quite a number of health benefits associated with yoga. Yoga does more than burning calories, make you flexible and strengthening muscles, it is a workout which involves both body and mind. For me it is one of the most potent way to connect with the divine.

Practicing yoga in the morning has so many great health benefits for your physical,mental and spiritual health.

You are allowed to communicate and unite with your body in your own way.

Yoga gives you all that a gym can, but in a peaceful, safe and more holistic way. It combines aspects of cardio, functional and strength training all in one. What more could you ask for? The best part about this workout is that it can be done at your own pace, in your own home.

Below are a few health benefits of yoga practice


• Boosts metabolism
Yoga helps in retaining the vitality in your body along with keeping it fit. It motivates you towards healthy eating and improves the metabolic system of the body.


• Helps in lowering blood sugar

Yoga not only helps in lowering blood sugar but also lowers bad cholesterol and boosts good cholesterol. It encourages weight loss and improves the body’s sensitivity to insulin.

  • Yoga improves strength, mental muscles,balance and flexibility.
  • Yoga gives your lungs room to breathe properly
  • Yoga gives you inner strength
  • Yoga gives you peace of mind
  • Yoga helps in increasing self esteem.
  • Yoga helps to perfect your posture
  • Yoga helps to protect your bone health and your spine.
  • Yoga regulates your adrenal glands.
  • Yoga makes you happier
  • Yoga uses sounds to soothe your sinuses (sound healing).
  • Yoga helps you focus
  • Yoga helps with back pain, muscle pain relief.
  • Yoga benefits kidney, liver and heart health
  • Yoga relaxes you, to help you sleep better
  • Yoga can boost your energy and brighten up your moods.
  • Yoga helps you manage stress
  • Yoga helps unite your body and mind.
  • Yoga encourages self empowerment and self care
  • Yoga is best for mental and emotional wellness

If you’re a passionate yoga practitioner, you’ve probably noticed some of the above yoga benefits—maybe you’re sleeping better or getting fewer colds or just feeling more relaxed and at ease. But if you’ve ever tried telling a newbie about the benefits of yoga, you might find that explanations like “It increases the flow of prana” or “It brings energy up your spine” fall on deaf or skeptical ears.


However, I hope you learn to enjoy the practice and lifestyle of true spirituality by incorporating daily dose of stretch, freestyle yoga flow for the spirit soul and body.🧘🏽‍♂️

Watch some of my freestyle yoga flows below. Like, share and subscribe if you enjoyed it.

Happy new and prosperous year Royalties !