What you allow around you defines YOU. If you are trying to define or understand yourself a little bit more, one of the first things to OBSERVE is your environment. Your surroundings are simply the people, places and things that you have around. Where you live, how your environment is arranged or dis-arranged, the objects around you, the vibe of the location, frequency of the music, the people that you communicate with either offline or online affect what you think . And what you think eventually makes your reality.
Your entire body is a hologram. Your face, hands, feet etc are different parts that make the entire system and what all these senses and organs do is to collect and dispose information. These information come from the surroundings. For instance, the African wavy natural hair is an organ that receives and sends out information (uploads or downloads data )from the source code i.e. your truest or highest self. It also saves and stores information, emotions etc. This is why when some people going through a transformational phase tend to shave their hair, lock their hair, dye their hair etc. Breaking this down further, everything that surrounds you is basically information . Whether it comes in form of food, air, friend, family, media, objects etc., it doesn’t matter. We as they say are a product of our environment.
The more aware you become, the more open your energetic gateways (chakras or portals or pathways) becomes and this allows you filter in, the appropriate and required information needed for your whole body ( i.e your 3 bodies : physical, mental and spiritual bodies). You choose to allow whoever and whatever around you at all times and this determines what you become.
I hear people say it is unwise to say that ‘everything we do in our lives is a choice’. But if we genuinely think about it, no strings attached, you will realize that it is indeed true. Our choices define what we are capable of. What we surround ourselves with determines who we are.
Your environment is not only the physical location you see with your external Sense of Sight ( i.e the eyes”). By definition, your environment is the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates. Another key word here is : “CONDITIONS”. The conditions or temperatures ( Esoterically temperatures here would be frequency and vibrations, high or low, happy or unhappy, positive or negative) This can be broken down in several layers in terms of depth when trying to inner-stand how the science of our environment ( which is simply the body ) affects the internal machine.
Your environment starts with the exernal part of you. Your body!. Then, it spreads out to people, places and things. This also relates to the fact that everything outside of your physical body is simply an extension of you and that it means it is your individual responsibility to be the caretaker of your environment. Both your body and the Environment and/or conditions around you.
Most of us had parents or guardians while we were younger who warned us about our friends. They wanted us to be very careful with whom we associate with, because they knew it had significant influence in our behaviors. Our choices then as kids or teenagers were simply based on how we felt because our brains were still developing, which means we could not logically ingest why but as we grew older we saw things for what they were and not only what they felt like. So making a choice now stems from logic and intuition.
In this day and age of Information, we come across so much data daily. Filtering these information is very necessary. Filter your system. Filter your organs, Filter your friends, Filter your music, Filter your habits and this is how you become a better person. When you filter your environment, You become even more powerful as a being because you see you had the power to make choices and you subconsciously gave it away because you didn’t pay attention to your environment or your body. See How to live your best life
In order to forgive ourselves and others, we must truly heal and to do so we must know and feel the injury. Every pain is only considered a pain, when it is felt. Therefore your feelings have a major role to play in your spiritual development cycle. It’s not something to avoid or ignore. So many people face a lifetime of trauma that could be healed immediately, if they sit and grow through the pain but we live in a cowardly world where it seems unproductive to sit and do some self work.
We need to willingly and lovingly explore and heal the core of a trauma emotion – we must clean, purge and love it, from the inside out. Feeling in order to heal requires some degree of Self awareness and Self responsibility. It is important not to become polarized in or attached to anger and fear, etc. What is most needed is for us to visit, own, acknowledge and validate difficult emotions. Allowing ourselves to hear and see what is held in the body, organs, blood, bone, genetic blueprint and cellular memory is fundamental to our healing.
Life can be very unraveling when we begin to truly look at our emotions and experiences for what they are and not just what how they make us feel, sometimes it might take only a moment and for others it might take even longer. For example, if two people have same cut on their skin, the healing process might not be totally alike. One may take longer while the other heals faster and vice versa. But one thing is certain, they both feel pain. A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with an old friend about how life and death are two sides to coin, likewise pain and pleasure. Every mother goes through pain during child birth, some feel more pain than others but one thing is for sure -“PAIN”. During the passage of death, some feel pain and others have it less painful. This shows that pain is in the natural cycle of life and we should accept it for what it is. A PROCESS. They all go hand in hand like an interwoven thread and until we accept them for what they are, we would never truly know what we are capable of.
Ultimately, difficult experiences and painful emotions arise to the surface of our healing radar in divine timing. What can emerge, often seemingly out of nowhere, are deeply stored emotions, repetitive patterns we may have thought we had cleared, as well as old ‘stories’ to conclude from lifetimes ago.
It is important not to go into too much detail when it comes to re-telling our story. If there is a powerful need to share over and over the story, then what can most serve the ultimate healing of it is to do so in no more than five words. However, to arrive at this point may require that we re-tell a story in greatest detail for as long needed, in order to help us to come to terms with what has happened. Yet, we find when closest to fully healing and letting go of a story, we have less to say in terms of detail and a deeper feeling impulse to feel the feeling we are left with so as to begin to dissipate it, slowly but surely, in the light of love and consciousness.
The emphasis must be on the feeling (felt-sense), not the story (mind). It is not the situation that causes our suffering, it is what the mind does with it. So, we literally need to get out of the mind, the who, when, what, where, why, breathe into the emotion and feel the feeling. In Psychosynthesis there is an effective practice that invites one to identify in order to dis-identify, to go inside, walk around, explore and examine an inner-wound.
Meditation and Visualization are great tools to get inside the ‘inside’. These are very potent methods to aid healing because we live in a world where perception becomes reality, visuals can become a powerful facilitator for Self healing. Just as yoga has its own magical healing abilities for the body and soul. ( See Yoga and it’s health benefits ). One thing I’m sure we all want, is to be entirely free from pain. Yet we avoid our feelings. But everyone wants to experience the ultimate bliss of pleasure. Like a popular African musician “Tuface Idibia” said, ” Nobody wan die, but them wan go heaven. Question is what are you willing to let go of to acquire what you desire? We live in a transactional world. One where you have to give to receive. Therefore, If you want to truly heal, you have to walk through the lonely and sometimes painful path of healing by FEELING.
Sometimes we don’t know why it’s taking so long to achieve something or why we are always making the same mistake in our lives, or why is taking so long to overcome a situation or the reason why we have a disease that has no specific origin or why we feel bad when we are with someone, or even when we try to finish a relationship but we never succeed. That’s because the energy cords need to be cut. Humans are electromagnetic beings, we are vibrational which means we attract and repel energies like electricity. In other words, we are composed of oscillating magnetic and electric fields just like this:
What Are Energy Cords?
We are all spiritual beings. Every minute of every day (including when we sleep), we are sharing energy with fellow humans, animals, and nature. Sometimes we can pick up attachments to others that do not serve ours or their highest good. Energetic bonds can happen with any chakra, or multiple chakras, within your energy body. Most of these bonds happen naturally—they are with our friends, family, children, co-workers, and neighbors. They are welcome bonds. Helpful energy bonds consist of mutual sharing, respect, trust, and love. But because we are always in a state of growth, sometimes bonds can outlive their purpose. When this happens, cord-cutting can be beneficial to both parties involved.
Cords and attachments can become very problematic for anyone doing energy or psychic work, highly sensitive people, and empaths.
A cord is created by thought and emotion; whether that progresses to a physical relationship has no bearing on the cord existing. Energy is not restricted by time or space. Often, if a relationship also becomes physical, the cord only strengthens. A good example of this is sharing your body in an intimate relationship. How much energy invested in the relationship will also affect how easy it is to remove or sever an unwanted or outgrown bond.
The reason why people cut cords with others is to generally move on from a person and let them go energetically – this means on an energy level. People who we are close to form energetic bonds with us that resemble cords of energy that link one person to the other. These are etheric cords, so think of ether as a kind of energy. Those who have seen the cords (and often we can see them in meditation for example) describe them as dark in color. The bonding itself can be light with just a slim cord, or you can be corded heavily with another through your chakras and can have multiple thick cording that literally shows your attachment, either mentally, emotionally, sexually, or all of the above.
Have you ever heard of the need to cut energy cords? Everything in the universe is energy. We can approach it by using quantic physics research – that shows us that our body has energy centers of information that are continuously sending and receiving information (or energy), creating transformation and affecting matter – or by simply noticing our body energy patterns.
We have a large magnetic field that protects us from the energies in our environment, but most of the times we don’t know how to protect ourselves from that energies that are not healthy for us and cords or attachments are created especially because most people are not conscious of this.
Cords can come from childhood or adulthood relations or even from past lives. It may be that you never felt loved by your father as a child and you are running the pattern of needing love and attention that makes you create dependency relationships with other men.
It may be that you never felt loved by your mother and you activate the pattern of needing others to fill the hole inside you, creating relationships commanded by high expectations that, obviously, never succeed. Most of these cords are running our lives subconsciously and need to be cut so we can stop feeling stuck and create space for the new in our life.
Symptoms of heavy cording include:
Unable to move on
Unable to stop thinking or obsessing about a person
Frequent conversations in your mind with a person
Frequently remembering what they said in the past, feeling their ongoing judgment or criticism
Arguments, sometimes daily in your mind with someone (these can be actual psychic arguments)
Constant memories or emotions that arise – i.e. we used to watch that show together
Temptation to go back to a relationship that does not serve you
Stalking another online through social networking, watching them compulsively
Unable to sleep, experiencing amnesia
You seem to endless process the past and what happened there
Deep feelings of sadness, anger, and depression around the past
Feelings of wanting to get revenge, or constantly aware of unfair treatment
Crying a whole lot, an emotional wreck
Turning down other offers and invitations, feeling uninterested
Becoming stuck in the past, not looking for new opportunities
With Whom Should We Cut Cords?
You can cut the cords with any person who is bothersome to you psychically, mentally and emotionally. This is to say anyone who sends you strong energy and who intrudes on your thoughts and emotions even when you are alone. If you are done with a person but find they always intrude on your thoughts and you can feel them around you or in your mind, you can cut the connection by cutting the etheric cords that attach the both of you.
Some people with strong sexual bonds can find relief here as well by disconnection your sexual chakra to theirs, if such a bond was once formed. If an old flame was harmful or hurtful to you in some way, being free on all levels is incomparable. You literally move on and a new space is formed around you. You can then proceed to fill that space with more amiable and pleasant thoughts and feelings.
You can also cut the cords with any person who has abused you, either physically or emotionally. Victims of any crime (rape, beating, even bullying) can form bonds with the perpetrators that continue on energetically, even long after the crime. Cutting these bonds will help healing that much faster. This will help you to release the pain and clear out your energy field or aura of that trauma.
You can certainly continue to cut the cords until they no longer recur and you have completely moved on. If a cord cutting fails, this indicates you are not willing to really let someone go yet. This is okay, it just means you aren’t truly ready to move on. There may be a lesson in this relationship you have yet to master and your current attachment is giving you the opportunity to learn the lesson for good.
There are some techniques to cut energy cords. We can use chakras cleansing, specific visualizations and meditation on cutting cords as well as aura cleansing.
It’s not an easy process, especially if you belong to the multiverse of empaths like me. Although, as good healers can facilitate our ability to heal, almost all the techniques can be applied by ourselves individually. An example would be:
Find a quiet place where you can meditate. At this moment, you can light incense or do some smudging.
Close your eyes and begin focusing on your breathing.
Once you feel relaxed, envision a thick red cord coming from your tailbone, going deep into the earth, and tying you safely to the core. This is to ground and also to protect you.
Think on the person, place, or thing that you wish to cut energy cords with.
Visualize the cords and then imagine cutting them, with a scissor, a sword, burning them off or just removing them by hand.
Tell this person place or thing that you love them, you wish them well, but no longer will be tied to them. Then remove the cords.
After this, visualize the cord you attached to the core of the earth being untied and coming back up into your tailbone.
Bring your awareness back to conscious reality, and have a good stretch.
Thank your spiritual guides and leave the place.
Repeat this exercise as often as you need.
What might happen after cord cutting?
Despite what you feel in the moment, cutting cords free you and allow you to quickly and painlessly move forward. Like suddenly everything starts working in your life and pushing you to another level of evolution in different areas.
You can also cut and prevent cords by forgiving, avoiding an internal (and external) speech of drama and negativity. You can also do it by avoiding people and environments that drain your energy. Overthinking about non healthy attachments to people or situations and, generally, by raising our vibration and try to be connected with nature and with the present moment.
In simple terms, you can expect to find your mind no longer dwells upon the person as the psychic attachment has been dissolved. Your mind is quieter, calmer and it is like cleaning out a closet – all those old emotions associated with that person dissolve as the communication between you ends. You now have extra space in your mind to fill with something better, and you will certainly be clearer in intent.
Imagine the freedom you can feel having that extra peace of mind, letting go of unwanted baggage, not to mention being free emotionally as well. If this sounds too good, you may be wondering why don’t we all do this on a regular basis, why don’t people know about this? The reason is simply we are never taught. In a world where we tend to believe in only what we see, such psychic cords of attachment go unnoticed and so we tend to carry unwanted energy and connections around with us many more years than we need to.
If you happen to have personal questions and need guidance on exactly how to do this. Feel free to write me. Sending everyone of you peace, freedom and love.
Let’s talk about this very common fear in our society and it’s different attachment styles. The fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety about losing your loved ones. It is quite common with people who have lost a loved one. So this results into making you feel like the people in your life will disappear if you don’t put all of your efforts into relationships or you might run away from every relationship because you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. Either way, you might have a fear of abandonment.
This fear doesn’t just make a home in your chest overnight. It’s linked to the different experiences you have had with people over the years. You may feel this enormous fear because of a childhood experience or because of an abusive ex-lover.
Abandonment issues also happen when a parent does not provide the child with consistent warm or attentive interactions, leaving them feeling chronic stress and fear. Naturally children are expressive and they need love. Our body holds memory and life is like a repetitive circle. The experiences that happen during a child’s development will often continue into adulthood. This is why abandonment issues become more prevalent as you get older and can affect your relationships.
Abandonment fear could also stem from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death, separation or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.
How can the fear of abandonment be avoided?
Only the constant presence of parents or guardians in childhood, with affection and attention, can bring the security that the child needs. This way they feel that their survival will be guaranteed and they do not need to be afraid.
In the case of the child who has had conflicts in school and the unsafe partner in the adult relationship, they are both acting unconsciously as a way of drawing the attention of the mother or partner. Calling attention to yourself is an unconscious way of feeling secure.
The child begins to create mechanisms to raise the attention of parents from a very young age. When their brain realizes that their behavior is successful, that it works to gain attention, it becomes automatic so they feel safe and protected. In adult life, the same thing happens: if the fear of abandonment makes your partner try to give you more security, the insecure uses this fear as a way to gain more attention.
Types of Abandonment Issues
Abandonment issues can present themselves in three insecure attachment styles. These are:
Avoidant Attachment Style
People who follow this style don’t allow anyone to get close to them. You may feel like you can’t open up or trust others, making you appear distant, private, or withdrawn.
Anxious Attachment Style
People with this type of attachment style cope by developing intensely close and dependent relationships with others. You may feel anxious about separating yourself from your partner and tend to be emotionally reactive. It may be easy to see conflicts as a concern that your partner may leave, which makes you act out of fear.
Disorganized Attachment Style
People with this attachment style have difficulty remaining intimate and close but can also be inconsistent. You may feel anxious about being in a relationship or want to avoid the closeness. This attachment style may come with other potential disorders.
Signs you are suffering from fear of abandonment
1. You give too much in relationships
Due to your fear of abandonment, if you choose to start a relationship with someone, you go all in.
You do whatever it takes to please this person and to make them happy.
This goes to the extent of forgetting about your own wants and needs, because theirs are more important to you.
However, forgetting about your own boundaries in the name of a relationship is a clear sign you have a fear of abandonment.
You give too much and receive too little.
Relationships require work from both sides.
If he doesn’t deem all your efforts to be loving and caring acts, then it’s his fault, not yours. You don’t deserve to be in a one-sided relationship.
2. You push people away to avoid rejection
Another sign of your fear of abandonment is if you choose to avoid relationships altogether.
You push people away and don’t let them see your vulnerable side all because you’re scared you’ll get attached to them.
What happens when you get attached? You give them the possibility of hurting you.
You fear rejection because it is a direct blow to your self-esteem. It literally activates your anxiety and fear of abandonment.
That’s why it’s easier to stay away from people than to give them the possibility of hurting you.
3. You are very codependent
A very obvious sign of a fear of abandonment is when you have mostly been involved in codependent relationships.
You thrive on the fact that a person makes you feel needed, even if it’s anything but healthy.
You want to be helpful in every single way possible and they exploit that.
Your previous partners might have seen that they could take advantage of your fear of abandonment and they treated you whatever way they pleased, because they knew you wouldn’t leave.
4. You feel insecure in yourself and with your partner
As said previously, a fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety and it brings a lot of insecurities into your life.
Your fear is the main reason behind the fact that you feel extremely insecure in yourself.
You’re always looking in the mirror and nitpicking all the reasons why you deserve to be heartbroken.
This also transfers into a romantic relationship because if you don’t love yourself right then you can’t love your partner right.
You’re always questioning when he’ll leave you and you see every small fight as the end.
When he’s mad at you for whatever reason, you see that as a sign that he’ll leave you immediately, even if it’s not true.
5. You persist with unhealthy relationships
If you have a fear of abandonment then you should be able to spot it in the number of unhealthy relationships in your life.
Whether it is romantic relationships, friendships, or very unhealthy family links, you always end up as the victim.
This is because you sabotage connections by either being extremely emotionally unavailable or being very clingy.
If the other party is the one who is toxic toward you, you might not even realize it out of the fear that you might get your feelings hurt.
So you end up staying in that relationship as you can’t help it.
6. You’re very clingy
Because of your insecurities and your fear of abandonment, you can also be extremely clingy. What does this involve?
Besides always wanting to be physically around your partner, you’re also always texting and calling him.
If you do get a moment away from your partner, you get extremely anxious and you don’t even realize you’re being clingy.
Your fears and anxieties are valid, but you need to realize that no one is going to leave you permanently just because they have gone out with their friends for the night.
7. You’re jealous
Another very clear sign of a fear of abandonment is when you yourself are an extremely jealous person.
You fear that your partner will find someone better than you and leave you for them.
You see every other woman as a threat.
This leads to very uncomfortable conversations with your partner, where you’re always asking him about the women in his life, even if it’s just co-workers.
A little bit of jealousy can be adorable at times, but when it becomes a symptom of your fear of abandonment, it’s not that cute anymore.
8. You’re in a state of constant anxiety
When you think of your partner, your first instinct isn’t to feel happiness, but rather anxiety.
Your smile fades whenever you think of him and you feel your stomach make a flip.
All of this because you think about all the bad things that could happen in your relationship that may lead to a breakup.
Your first thought might even be the last time you did something wrong in your relationship and he got mad.
This anxiety doesn’t leave you. It gets less obvious when you’re right next to him, but it never truly disappears.
9. You feel unworthy of love
Your insecurities, your clinginess, everything comes from a deeply-rooted fear of abandonment. Just like the fact that you feel unworthy of love.
You feel like no one will ever be able to love you. Even if they say they do, you take that with a grain of salt.
Long-Term Effects of Abandonment Issues
A person who has experienced abandonment may be more likely to have long-term mental health issues. These are often based on the fear that abandonment will recur. A child who was abandoned by a parent or guardian may have mood swings or anger issues. These behaviors become an automated lifestyle that can alienate potential intimate partners and friends. A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support, love or care.
Abandonment fears can impair a person’s ability to trust others. They may make it harder for a person to feel worthy or be intimate. These fears could make a person prone to anxiety, depression, codependence, or other issues. Someone who lacks self-esteem due to childhood abandonment may seek relationships that reinforce their beliefs because that’s the language they understand.
Maintain a positive mind is a way to treat this fear
To overcome this fear, you need to do the following:
Maintain a positive attitude and mindset
Learn about yourself
Understand the people around you
Practice the habit of forgiveness
Say what you feel (Be clear in your communication with anyone including your partner)
When it comes to relationships, usually the detachment in relationships happens because of some concern that a person is feeling and that their thinking cannot be in focus. The greater the degree of understanding and companionship to overcome this problem, the greater the chances of living healthy relationships, which are based on affection and not on lack or fear of losing. When you are aware of the feelings you both experience, you are most likely to live in peace and harmony.
Are you here right now? Is it possible you’re still having other thoughts cross your mind even as you’re reading this ?
Well, just checking in..
Most of us experience continuous chatter in our minds. We have so many countless thoughts about the future, the past, or judgments about what is, which just seems to flow through our minds as if in a neverending stream.
Remember, time is now and your mind is a very powerful machine that can be used to build and also to destroy. Your mind works both clockwise and anticlockwise. You’re able to dwell in the past just the same way you fantasize about the future and this creates continuous chatter in your mind.
This chatter, has it’s consequences and disadvantages. The main one is that we are continuously distracted from what’s actually going on in the present moment. In other words, we tend to experience life through our thoughts rather than through direct experience.
When you are present with yourself, you begin a new story. You create a new reality. You are creating in the now. The highest reality is THE GIFT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.
Everyday is a gift, a present. Open it up and live it.
When you refuse to open up yourself and live in the now, overthinking, worry, anxiety, depression and many other low vibrations find a new home through a hole in your aura to gladly enter.
We live in a mental world. So it requires a bit of discipline to live in the now and a lot of love and gratitude. If I were you, I’ld choose right now because it is all you are certain of.
Every thing you might have or had or want is either in the past or in the future. They are imaginary (the mentality ie, it’s all in the head). It is not present, not now. The now is the present moment. The present reality.
Where are you mentally now?
Do you know where you are emotionally now?
What about as an evolving being right now?
These are the questions you should ask yourself as you evolve on this endless journey. Below is a video talking about the advantages and benefits of living in the present moment.
If you want to experience the benefits of living in the present, you want to start using ways that allow you to focus on the present moment little by little.
It’s a matter of moving your attention away from your thoughts and towards what’s actually happening here now.