How to heal the wounded inner child

Children are born without any means to defend themselves or face the world. Children are totally dependent upon their parents for love, acceptance, and shelter. Sometimes parents fail to provide the emotional, psychological, and physical shelter required for healthy children. This results in adults who are stuck in trauma-time who remain forever ruled by an inside force, the wounded inner child. In Africa where I come from, most parents beat, punish and maltreat their children in order to discipline them. Even worse they barely listen to them which traumatizes them from an early age and they grow up with a different mentality of what love and acceptance truly is.

The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, empty and unhappy.

Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.

Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials. Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent to us as human beings.

The process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, of pain. Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.

The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on your daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.

Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.

Connect with your inner child


Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.

Signs that you have a wounded inner child

There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child. These inside parts of ourselves have a significant impact on how we see ourselves and how we behave as adults. Some signs you have a wounded child might include that :

  • You feel there’s something wrong with you
  • You experience anxiety when you face something new
  • You want to please everyone around you
  • You experience the need to be in conflict
  • You feel inadequate
  • No achievement feels enough for you
  • You always criticize yourself
  • You are rigid and perfectionist
  • You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
  • You have trusting issues
  • You never feel close to others.
  • Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
  • Are a people-pleaser
  • Are a rebel and feel alive when in conflict with someone else
  • You are a hoarder
  • Are not able to let go of possessions and people
  • Experience anxiety with something new
  • Feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • Are driven to be a super-achiever
  • Are ridged and a perfectionist
  • Have problems starting and finishing tasks
  • Exhibit constant self-criticism
  • Feel ashamed at expressing emotions
  • Feel ashamed of your body
  • Have a deep distrust of anyone else
  • Avoid conflict, no matter what the cost
  • Have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.

Repeat supporting affirmations

  1. I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
  2. I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
  3. You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
  4. I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
  5. I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
  6. Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
  7. You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.

You can create other affirmations or mantras that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!

Write a letter to your inner child

Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.

You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.

If needed, you can repeat both practices as many times as necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.

Do an inner child visualization or meditation

Search for mantras, meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a coach or therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.

  1. Close your eyes
  2. Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
  3. Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
  4. Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
  5. Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
  6. Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
  7. Come back to where you were.
  8. Talk to your adult self to ask for aid in grown-up decisions
  9. Give rewards to yourself every day
  10. Get plenty of sleep
  11. Practice mindfulness to remain present
  12. Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward
  13. Think about the good memories you had in childhood
  14. Make new “good” memories and traditions

After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light. This is a very powerful tool that helped me personally on my healing journey anc could be the turning point you need.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.

Practice mindfulness to remain present Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward Think about the good memories you had in childhood Make new “good” memories and traditions

If you are interested in working with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet, I hope you do. If you would also like a deep healing approach or if you prefer one on one help, feel free to drop a comment down below or send me an email. Would be glad to be of assistance.

Everyday is a test

If you thought that life’s tests were over when you finished school, guess again. There are so many tests in life, and they can be much more difficult than biology or physics. And there isn’t that much homework we can do to prepare for these kinds of tests, either. When we pass life’s tests, we discover that we do have that inner strength after all.


In school you are taught a lesson and given a test, in life you are given a test and taught a lesson.

Have you ever wondered what the purpose of your life is? Common answers are “happiness,” financial success”, true ❤ or “satisfaction.” While these are all worthwhile goals, I say the purpose of your life is to face head on, every challenge, every test, as a chance for you to become the person you are meant to be. Life is a test for you to be and become your best and highest self.

When you face the tests of life, learn from them and grow with them, you become that person. The tests of life require you to call on the inner resources residing deep inside you.

In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson and it turns out to be that everyday is a TEST. Every moment there is a new challenge, ( which is always an opportunity).

In my local language we say “ problem no dey finish”, which means there is always something else after this. We have to find our way in the world, and all along we face tests of physical illness, mental troubles, financial reversals, unfulfilled expectations, and loss.

Life is indeed a test of many things, our faith & faithlessness, our convictions & priorities, our endurance & patience, and in the very end, our ultimate desires.

The way of a true spiritual life actually begins where we are now in the mess of our lives.

We’ve lost touch with our souls. We’ve been nourishing our minds, our relational skills, our theological knowledge, our psychological well-being, our physiological health… but we’ve abandoned our souls. ‘Mike Yaconelli.’

The most powerful weapon on earth is a human soul that’s on fire! Ignite that spark by recognizing the lessons of all you had to go through to be where you are right now.

On the video below, i talked about how to recognize the tests so you don’t have to repeat the lessons in order to graduate to the best and highest version of YOU!


The time is now!

Whether you’re aware or asleep, the time is now. Our planet has been split. A reset has occurred in the sky. Do you remember “As above so below”, well, it’s time to get ready for the “below” aka the reset, changes that will begin to happen on earth from all around the world.

A reset, is simply a do- over, more so start afresh. It is a Death and a rebirth at the same time. Think about it like rebooting your computer after a virus.

Everything that happens energetically/spiritually must happen physically as they are one and the same. The great reset, the rebirth, the beginning of a new dawn is here. Can you feel it in the air ? Jupiter and Saturn conjuncting at 0 degrees signifies a major restart button has been hit. People will begin to wake up, feeling different, stronger, fearless, joyful, carefree, collaborative,creative ,imaginative etc . On the dark side, a lot of people will be entering a new phase of a very long shadow work, self development and healing journey, government would do the extreme to hold their ground ( aka the old world ) which could lead to extremities, companies and industries coming together or crashing out of the blue, vaccines being made mandatory etc due to the vastness of the reset.

Everything is filtered through multi-layers. Like levels of coding for a game , the layers go deep. As you begin to become aware, you might get either really pissed or very very sad depending on your empathic battery life. No matter what level you are on spiritually, there are times where you feel like you’re the only one experiencing all that wisdom and downloads and knowledge, I assure you, you’re not the only one. There are many others out there who do not feel comfortable enough to share their truth, one way or the other we all go phases of awakening during our journey in this passage called life.

Would you rather wait till the next great conjunction or your next life to align with the truth of who and what you are ?

The world has begun its new regime. New air, new species, renewed vibration which I’m feeling to be distinctly different from what we’ve experienced the last decade. A woman is only pregnant for a period of time, eventually she delivers herself an offspring. Likewise, Mother Earth has been pregnant for quite some time now, going through hard labor, pains, and even malnutrition just as women have been ridiculed, Stepped on, trashed, maltreated and so on. They’ve been non- existent for a very long time in our 3D reality. Forgetting they are the reason we all exist. They are one in the same . Harmony is the answer.

We tend to forget the space we are currently holding is a feminine space. We are in the womb, the belly of the beast and the beast is ready to be out of the womb. As a divine feminine, I can feel it in the air already. The smell, the energy, the moods, the vibe..This is a very beautiful being we’re all consciously co-creating right now on the planet. It might take a minute to be very clear to the masses , however, the land must be cleansed for the baby to pop out. I.e We might be seeing many deaths, experiencing the extreme lows, maybe natural disasters, National drama and collective disagreements but that’s only to usher in the fruit of the womb, the new world, new type of leaders, creative and very innovative people teaming up,etc .. (Think of it as in “No pain no gain”.)

As I had written on my last post, The sky is falling, there are very serious wars going on in the sky, ships are clashing, fighting, collapsing, all on your behalf, the ancestors are doing what they do best, just as down below, authorities are being exposed, revealing the truths, on the bright side, this is enlightening the people, You are beginning to pay attention to your surroundings, your upbringings and your mindsets. Thing is, You have to decide where you belong. There or here ?, Nothing is predestined.Everything changes. This is the time to prepare and trust in nothing but yourself. The illusion is becoming very clear and the spell magicians are being exposed. When else will there be a better time for you to be your own magic?

The time is now. Embrace your demons as you embrace your angels. You’ll be needing them as one. Align with yourself as the stars and planets align for the greatest conjunction we’ve had in a very very longtime. Ignorance is the most expensive gift of mankind.

WAKE UP. THE TIME IS NOW

The temple

The mind is a hall like a temple there are ways in and ways out ( doors & windows) which we call portals ..

The ways in are the things we perceive and experience same as the ways out. If you can find the beginning you have found the end. The day you decide you are taking full responsibility for your action is the day everything changes. You’re whole life changes !!

The world is a holographic memory of what we want to see (we only see what we want to see.. ). Everything and everyone has a choice and everyone is FREE by default but as programs set in from an early stage, the molding begins..

If you don’t let yourself go (as in, remove your self from outside of these memories, people and environment you will keep yourself locked in a hall that is filled with so many unnecessary people. ( like people living in your headspace ) it’s all holographic .. Like a memory replaying in it’s loop until you find the record engine and take action when READY!.. The key here is, If you don’t like something, stop it before it spreads like a virus .. This is how life works.. not for one to be a perfectionist but when you do not clean a dirt the moment you see it, it begins to invite more and more dirts, ie your habits, your negative thinking,imaginations, relationships etc.. This happens repeatedly in different scenarios, at different locations, with different faces, different environments and until you see the pattern, you cannot solve it..

This is when people start to question themselves. “Why is this happening to me ???Why me ? etc.. The answer is .. You’re looking for a way out of a problem ( the hall), without realizing that for a problem to come in, a door or maybe a window in the hall was opened. Yes !! There are doors and windows which we call portals .. for instance, my website http://www.barisity.com is a portal for healing, coaching and channeling.. same as your mind. THE TEMPLE” .. When one opens a door it means something is leaving and another is entering. Something has to go for something to come in.. it’s a door !! One door but leads you out or welcomes you in!! ( an exchange of energy, i.e energy never dies just transforms from one form to another.. ever heard of that ??) Check yourselves.. The conversations you share, the people around you , the shows you watch, the music you listen to, the habits you’re used to, the words that come out or your mouth, what are you subscribed to? ,what are you letting into your temple ? What are you open to ? Consciously and subconsciously ?!

For example, I opened a door for a way in ( it means I opened a portal ) It also means, I am ready for a way out ( ie let go of something) .. Same as your body being a temple, when you let someone get into your body, you’re exchanging energy and giving the person some part of you whether you believe it or not ( this could be + -) depending on your vibration.. Every person is karma and an experience replaying itself !!!

Learn to cleanse, guard and nurture your temple .. we all have temples in 3 layers ( spirit, soul and body ). We have been lied to for generations as to what the church really is .. ie temple , the disciples etc.. I would be writing about them in subsequent posts.. but remember, YOUR MIND is your number one asset and your mind is your first temple which has doors and windows and you experience them through your daily activities, people, places, books, websites, apps and so many other ways.. Connect with your true self and you would know which portals are opened that shouldn’t be and of course those that are closed that shouldn’t be. Simply put.. Be in charge of your temple!! do not let a human being like YOU tell you how to live your life! It is yours!!!

With love …

Till the next read