How to heal the wounded inner child

Children are born without any means to defend themselves or face the world. Children are totally dependent upon their parents for love, acceptance, and shelter. Sometimes parents fail to provide the emotional, psychological, and physical shelter required for healthy children. This results in adults who are stuck in trauma-time who remain forever ruled by an inside force, the wounded inner child. In Africa where I come from, most parents beat, punish and maltreat their children in order to discipline them. Even worse they barely listen to them which traumatizes them from an early age and they grow up with a different mentality of what love and acceptance truly is.

The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, empty and unhappy.

Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.

Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials. Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent to us as human beings.

The process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, of pain. Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.

The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on your daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.

Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.

Connect with your inner child


Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.

Signs that you have a wounded inner child

There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child. These inside parts of ourselves have a significant impact on how we see ourselves and how we behave as adults. Some signs you have a wounded child might include that :

  • You feel there’s something wrong with you
  • You experience anxiety when you face something new
  • You want to please everyone around you
  • You experience the need to be in conflict
  • You feel inadequate
  • No achievement feels enough for you
  • You always criticize yourself
  • You are rigid and perfectionist
  • You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
  • You have trusting issues
  • You never feel close to others.
  • Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
  • Are a people-pleaser
  • Are a rebel and feel alive when in conflict with someone else
  • You are a hoarder
  • Are not able to let go of possessions and people
  • Experience anxiety with something new
  • Feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • Are driven to be a super-achiever
  • Are ridged and a perfectionist
  • Have problems starting and finishing tasks
  • Exhibit constant self-criticism
  • Feel ashamed at expressing emotions
  • Feel ashamed of your body
  • Have a deep distrust of anyone else
  • Avoid conflict, no matter what the cost
  • Have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.

Repeat supporting affirmations

  1. I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
  2. I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
  3. You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
  4. I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
  5. I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
  6. Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
  7. You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.

You can create other affirmations or mantras that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!

Write a letter to your inner child

Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.

You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.

If needed, you can repeat both practices as many times as necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.

Do an inner child visualization or meditation

Search for mantras, meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a coach or therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.

  1. Close your eyes
  2. Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
  3. Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
  4. Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
  5. Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
  6. Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
  7. Come back to where you were.
  8. Talk to your adult self to ask for aid in grown-up decisions
  9. Give rewards to yourself every day
  10. Get plenty of sleep
  11. Practice mindfulness to remain present
  12. Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward
  13. Think about the good memories you had in childhood
  14. Make new “good” memories and traditions

After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light. This is a very powerful tool that helped me personally on my healing journey anc could be the turning point you need.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.

Practice mindfulness to remain present Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward Think about the good memories you had in childhood Make new “good” memories and traditions

If you are interested in working with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet, I hope you do. If you would also like a deep healing approach or if you prefer one on one help, feel free to drop a comment down below or send me an email. Would be glad to be of assistance.

Self Judgment

We live in a world of control. A world that requires push and pull, as in, it requires gravity to exist. It’s no wonder why we are always at war with ourselves. However, we must learn to be in control of ourselves, what concerns us, what matters to us in our everyday lifestyle, not just personally, but environmentally, universally.

We must learn to find balance in the chaos, no matter how overwhelmed you might be. The fact is, you have every reason to be here right now and if you are reading this right now , and it happens to be that you find yourself confused, doubting, or listening to that criticizing voice in your head, critiquing your life, telling you what you can and cannot say or do, you have the power to transform the energy to love. No matter what you may be experiencing, do not judge yourself. It’s happening for a reason plus that is not your duty, it’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is, to “Do as you may in alignment with your conscience” and let the rest play out.

Stop criticizing yourself. Choose self love. If you love yourself, others will love you, if you judge and criticize yourself, others will judge and criticize you. It is what it is. You should know that whenever you judge yourself, you insert fear into your aura and that lowers your vibration, your battery life, your electro magnetic voltage. Look at it like a phone fully charged, and the more you interact with the phone the battery life reduces, for instance, fear would be like an app, Instagram or maybe a game you’re used to playing on the phone, your battery weakens way faster because of the amount of energy the app has and the time you spend on it. Your daily energy and lifespan increases or reduces based on what you do every day. So, be nice to yourself, be kind, practice self love instead of self judgement.

As it turns out, there are so many different things happening in our society today, distracting, upsetting and emotionally controlling people. As a result, anxiety, depression, fear, self doubt, criticism, self judgment and different types mental issues gradually begin to flood in.. It is your duty to be responsible for what you think, eat and do because you are a part of the universe, a part of the whole and if you do your duty, others will do theirs and on and on.. Then, in little or no time the world will become light again, even better than we have imagined. It will be the change we’ve been collectively working on.

Self Expression

Are you free? Are you truly free to live or say whatever you want, whenever you want, however you decide? Can you express yourself without fear in totality? Are you REAL? Are you living according to your creators wish?

Most people are out here agreeing and accepting every thing that’s thrown at their faces like they don’t have a choice. This has got to stop. We need to express ourselves exactly how we want to. I hear, there is freedom of speech ( but I don’t hear about the consequences of speaking up). People fear to express themselves exactly how they should or exactly how they want to. Why, you may ask ? Well, BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN PSYCHOLOGICALLY BRAINWASHED into accepting that someone else should think for them plus there is the “hush hush” part about the consequences of self expression.

You know there’s more to life. You know you’re being called to do something greater.We’re a community of like-minded and evolved beings just like you on a mission to help you realize your maximum potential and free people from physical,mental and spiritual prisons. This is why Barisity.com is called a Sity of Royalties for true FREEDOM.

In recent times, people are waking up from this deep slumber and spells that’s being constantly cast on individuals right in front of their faces, through music, media, twisted history, traditions and cultures. Most of these things are being tweaked and passed along generations over and over again. Why do we accept this, some smart ones may be thinking ? Well, my brother and sister, THE POWER OF SELF EXPRESSION COMES WITH A PRICE!!

Consider that with every action and every choice you make, you are expressing some part of yourself. When you donate to a beggar, you’re expressing kindness. When you raise your voice at another, you’re expressing anger. It’s always about the intention behind the action, the energy behind the deed. Those who cook may have realized this. When we cook with love and care, our dish has a special feel to it. When we do not put effort into our cooking, the dish turns out mediocre and bland. Self-expression is the act of bringing something deep within us into observable form – the art of creation. The question is not whether we express ourselves, but what are we expressing? The more connected we are to ourselves, the more authentic our expression. The more authentic our expression, the more confident and attractive we become. Who are you, and what is your message to the world? As you uncover more and more of yourself, the core of who you are comes to the fore. Who you are begins to shine through in what you do.

So what exactly is self expression?

Let me start by telling you a dream of mine, about a decade ago, I had this recurring dream of someone holding my throat but an invisible someone, I open my mouth to scream with all the energy charged up in me yet not a single sound comes out when I think I’m making a very loud noise, then I get madder and try harder,same thing. It was very annoying at first because as a hueman being we all have “vocal cords” which are in charge of our sounds. So when I speak you should hear me because I’m communicating with you through a chord you and I both have. This dream kept going on and on for weeks until one day I got so pissed and I was just like you know what “IM DONE WITH THIS SHIT”!! Then I decided that when the time came I won’t scream with my outer voice but my inner voice. So I had the dream again, it was on a Saturday morning, I remember vividly how I tried using my right hand to find what’s holding back my voice and I made the loudest sound ever without using my voice. It was my inner voice. I screamed so loud inside my heart that not only did the feeling of my throat being held disappear but the feeling of fear, fear of trying something new completely vanished! All it did was make me uncomfortable for a sec. ( THE PRICE OF SELF EXPRESSION ).

Now, the moral of that story is this —— I had a voice I couldn’t use, out of fear of the unknown, I felt hooked, choked and scared to do what I ought to do but until I DECIDED NOTHING COULD STOP ME, I was helpless. I decided ! Then, I found another way and I didn’t care what happened, I just did it. (Let me tell you a secret, I had not the slightest clue what was going to happen, whether it was going to make an external sound or not). I just “KNEW” I had to do something instantly. The moral of this ??—— FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. You might be wrong or right it doesn’t matter. Just do it!!

This dream made me a stronger and fearless leader because I realized so many things 10 years after. If you don’t use what the creator has given to you , it will be taken away from you. If you choose to be scared, it will be taken away from you, If you allow yourself to be bullied, it will be taken away from you . IF YOU HAVE SKILLS, TALENTS AND PASSIONS YOU DO NOT PURSUE, guess what ? It will be taken away from you. And it goes on and on ….. We all have the ability and the power to express ourselves exactly how we want to. Don’t allow the program that has been installed in your life continue being the driver of your decisions. TAKE CHARGE or be preyed upon. Your choice.

Self expression by definition is the Expression of one’s own personality, feelings, or ideas, as through speech or art. It is a vital piece of the puzzle that is fulfillment in life; Self expression allows us to be our best selves, reach our full potential, and make valuable contributions to the world we live in. It simply is when people show that they are different from everyone else. They may choose to express themselves by how they look, what they say, or by using different types of artistic ways to show you who they are.

This place is a community of people just like you, all seeking to achieve their dreams and support one another in that mission.

Here are some ways you can start expressing yourself. Courage is key! Dare to put yourself into what you do. You can choose one or do them all.

  1. Say what you really want to say
  2. Take a risk and do something you’ve been fantasizing about
  3. Take a picture
  4. Doodle something
  5. Freestyle journal
  6. Sing, rap, write, dance.

Allow yourself to suck at first. Give yourself permission to learn and grow. Take the pressure off and let yourself stretch your wings along the runway to mastery. Once you begin, you never know where your expressions will take you. I’ve always enjoyed mentoring, teaching, making music and writing, but never took my love for writing seriously until last year. Since then, the universe has been urging me to continue. Each time I think of giving up my writing, I would get a message from a reader telling me how my writing impacted them and how much they appreciated my writing. That’s the magic of self-expression: just by being who you are, you can inspire and heal others.

You owe it to yourself to achieve your dreams. Express yourself. NO ONE CAN DO IT EXACTLY HOW YOU CAN DO IT! Don’t let it get taken away from you. You have only one life to live.

You can choose to hire me to coach you on your own journey as well or help you HEAL YOURSELF from your traumas. I’m always available. Feel free to comment down below or send me an email. I’ve got you.

Save your energy and focus on yourself

Feed your focus and starve your distractions is a quote I’m sure you must have come across one way or another. But as hue-man beings, we tend to rush everything including breathing, reading etc. Try to read this is as slow and deliberate as possible.

SAVE YOUR ENERGY, FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND GET FAR AWAY FROM DISTRACTIONS.

The world at large is going through a spiritual cleanse, more like karmic reset. But majority of us see things as the media wants us to perceive it. When do we get to the point when we realize that most of what we see is not what is really happening ? When do we get to that point? Are we going to wait until 2025 to realize that we are all pawns in the matrix until you WAKE UP and THINK FOR YOURSELF?

You are a piece to the puzzle. The universe is a puzzle and every living being has a ROLE to play. Your duty is to figure out what your role is and be exceptionally great at it.

For instance, If we are deprived of food for too long, our bodies won’t have enough energy left to perform physical tasks. If we don’t sleep for two days straight, we won’t have enough energy to partake in a meaningful conversation. Not eating, or not sleeping will drain us of our energy reserves. We all understand this because it’s common sense.

But there are also many other negative habits, which we simply aren’t aware of – slowly robbing us of any extra energy we might have. These habits include: overeating, long hours in front of the TV, compulsive complaining, etc.

If you want to get something great done in your life, you must first be able to adopt habits that preserve your energy, and free yourself of habits that waste it.

2020 is a perfect example of why you should focus on yourself , anything can happen which I believe means one has to be prepared for absolutely anything at this point. As a matter of fact, this is going to be the new norm.( wearing of masks which hide your identity ie prisoners, social distancing, lockdowns, food scarcity etc.) We are OUR ONLY SAVIORS and we have to do better. The very least you can do is SPEAK UP, FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM, or better still fight for the unborn children because this is new world they’ll be born into. We can only change our reality by changing our point of focus.

Focus requires concentration, patience and attention. In other to achieve anything exceptionally you need to pay attention right? So, question is, what are you paying attention to ? Your mental and spiritual development? Your physical health ? Your thinking patterns ? Your trauma responses? What are you putting your energy on ? The media, the mass violence happening all over the world? Politics ? Your career? You decide YOUR FUTURE by your PRESENT. Choose wisely.

Save your energy, face your demons instead. Focus on your priorities. Make yourself your one number priority. Turn the lens around to yourself and see yourself for what you truly are. DO YOU LIKE YOU? Do you like yourself and your current habits ? Are you around the people that elevate your mind state or are you around people who make you feel less of yourself?, Are you getting better at improving your self as a whole? What are you waiting for ? A prophet ? A UFO? Wake up and do what you have to do now. So you don’t get dropped like a fly when the awakened souls transcend. Be your own motivator and guide. Look within you for acceptance not outside you.

Save your energy. It is already a lot of work to focus on yourself. How about you make that a priority and see how much less time you have for anything else.

The great awakening

2020- The revolutionary year as I had called it earlier this year, is beginning to show itself globally and that my dear royalties is a massive revolution. We have to know death to understand life and vice versa. Everything happening now is a necessary catalyst for the Planet’s transformation. It all depends on how you perceive it.

We as humans, haven’t been very kind to this earth. Pollution, deforestation, millions of animals (wild and domesticated) slaughtered at any given moment, we’re kind of parasitic, and this is kind of the earths way of clearing out a lot of the problems, nature always finds a way.

For a long time, we have heard about the awakening and it’s shenanigans. But during recent times, it’s becoming louder even with the silence..

So many things are happening simultaneously but do not get distracted. {Be still for I am God}. How else would you listen and observe what part of your life needs to be changed/ transformed if your life were to just go on forever without this very necessary break?Where people see the fear ( a virus) , I see a rebirth of the new Earth, The evolved words, i see a new world ( which also means, a new world order a.k.a light and dark ).

Here is what I mean literally, we had to be locked down in every layer of our beings for this to take place which simply put — spiritually, mentally and physically. ( ie..Death)

We are being pulled back and forth mentally, physically and of course spiritually during these trying times. Oh,and guess what had to happen for humans to remember our “CORE VALUES”? A “VIRUS”— ( which I call a “divide-us”).

It all started with the usual instilling of fear” — (attacking you spiritually), then mentally-( attacking how you think — news, media etc) .. lastly a physical lockdown ( isolating you from your friends, co-workers and general public as a whole ) .. Are you getting this ??

Now, this is why I’ll call it a gift and a curse,which is all about balance.Universal balance!

You see, the gift is, now you have time to sort out your issues, look yourself in the mirror and face your self, face your fears, get really comfortable with your life decisions, or even uncomfortable.

Then the curse, is — not being able to go back to the life you once thought you “ had”. (Keyword- YOU THOUGHT”)..

Times have indeed changed and now I guess the great awakening is speaking for itself. The old leaves are falling off for the freshly planted seeds to grow beautifully. I’m sorry to disappoint you but life will never be the same again after this whole phenomenon and if you still expect to go back to the way things are “YOU THOUGHT” wrong. Old systems are all broken. Just by the click of one button on the news or social media, the whole world was put on isolation yet people do not seem to understand the power behind the “internet”.

You have to know separation to know oneness. (ie..You had to be isolated to be more in tune with yourself ). Now is the time to unite with your star player! Your creator! Your highest self. Because, THIS IS A WHOLE NEW WORLD.

This is not only a wake up call to conscious communities, but a UNIVERSAL WAKE UP CALL from those in command because of the rate at which the whole world is awakening. There is a huge mass awakening happening and its never happened at this rate. Of course, people will try to stop or slow it down.. Hence, the economic crisis..You’re isolated for a reason. Use it wisely because when you’re released, nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing ! Companies will begin to cut down staffs, banks will cease to be banks, schools will be shutdown totally, robots taking over most jobs,human beings micro-chipped,etc.. Remember, it is the Age of Aquarius ♒️ and It is a time for innovation, creativity and inventions. So yes! Nothing will ever be the same again. Are you ready?!

Arise o Compatriots and take back your power! Learn about your history so you can create your future. Life is finite for a reason. Nothing lasts forever. Do all you can now to be a better person to yourself and loved ones because when there are mass awakenings it also means there will be mass deaths ( Balance) ..Find your purpose and be of service because that’s what’s most important. Learn to grow and help others grow because in the end that’s all that matters.

Remember in the end no one is getting out of life, Alive.

This is the great awakening! Stay safe, remain healthy, stay positive, be kind and of course be conscious 👁

Welcome to the new world!