Wake up, the sun is up!

You rise up everyday like the sun and die every night like the sun. You start everyday the same way, waking up. To continue from where you stopped yesterday. If you had unfinished tasks, a daily schedule, or you decide to do every new day, anyhow it comes, you’re still very much obligated to own the day. You are in charge, no matter what you do. If you get productive, that’s your choice, if not, that’s also your choice. This is because you “arose” again from death (sleep) over and over and over.. You die and rise again, isn’t that what a reincarnate is ? That should speak to how motherfucking powerful you are!. You do not wake up and rise up by accident. You chose to. You willed it into happening. That’s how grande you are, if I must say.

A lot of times, between waking up and going to sleep is a billion and one activities to accomplish, and this gets overwhelming. We feel exhausted before we begin the day. It becomes a battle to go through the day. And this goes on and on for a while. We have to snap out of it and take it one step a time. Not all battles are physical, some are mental and others emotional (spiritual). It is your responsibility to recognize what kind of battle you’re facing daily in order to defeat it. We often forget we have three parts to us. And these parts of us, do not have days off. As far as you’re alive, the three parts of you operates concurrently. Your physical body, mental body and emotional body. I wrote more about this in What is the Spirit, soul and body? .

Everyday is an opportunity to start afresh. You are not obligated to carry the issues of yesterday into today. That’s a choice you made. You can decide to start something entirely different from all you did a day before. That is the essence of THE SUN rising up everyday. Bringing vision, clarity, light for you to see all the opportunities you could create in a fresh perspective. All you have to do is, see it for what it is. Newness.

There are so many benefits you get spiritually, mentally and physically from the sunlight every new day. The sun heals, brings new ideas which enlightens you in all ways. No the sun doesn’t speak vocally but it does energetically. Close your eyes and listen. Ever notice some crystalline shiny things on your body while sun gazing or sun bathing ?. That is information. Powerful information sent down from the ultraviolet rays of the sun. Multidimensional information passing through this massive gateway called the sun. The sun brings about excitement, agility, expression, freedom. It is your decision however you chose to benefit from it. But remember, it rises again from the dead every single day FOR YOU.

Practice exercising under the sun, meditating at sunrise or sunset, practice yoga, acupressure, qigong, dancing etc. These are a few ways to tap into this energetic source to unblock your chakras, energize and refresh your energy daily but these only work with pure intentions. You cannot benefit without having pure and good intentions. This is why there’s an old saying that goes. “ Nothing is hidden under the sun”. If you’re an artist , a spiritual teacher, medium, card reader, astrologer etc. These are practices you might want to add to your daily routine to maximize your potential.

Wake up, the sun is up and Shine bright like those little crystals you see on your skin when you sun bath or shine as the crystals or stars up in the sky at night. Do not waste your daily shine on people, places, things or thought processes that do not elevate you.

Tomorrow I launch my first book titled SEX CONSCIOUSNESS. Which speaks more about the magical or scientific benefits of the energies that are within us and surrounds us including the sun. It is life changing esoteric knowledge you don’t want to miss out on at this point in life. Especially with all the misleading information out there on the internet about who we truly are.

Check out BARISITY BOOKSTORE for our notebooks that can be used as journals, project planners, birthday notebook gift etc. Write your affirmations, dreams, plans and get productive with your life. Wake up! And take charge of your life. After all, your life is the only property you own.

How to heal from depression through psychotherapy

Depression brutally assaults us and promotes hopelessness. This is because depression is not a pure feeling but an effort to ward off a complex mix of unwanted ones. Anger, frustration, irritation, and grief are feelings we tend to find intolerable, we don’t want to feel them, we avoid them. When we’re depressed, we’re engaging in a psychic battle to blot out these unwanted feelings. It’s a battle with your self. Usually, the part of yourself you’re scared to face or the part you’re traumatized by. Common psychic defenses against painful feelings include ignoring feelings, projection.

We got to do better at becoming our best selves everyday. In today’s world, depression carries with it a very high cost in terms of relationship problems, family suffering and lost work productivity and mental illnesses. Yet, depression is highly treatable.

Every feeling is a state of mind . Hence, depression is a state of mind of being deeply pressed over a situation.

States are locations, a state of mind– is a location in your mind and we can change locations cant we? The intention of this post is to remind you that every kind of sickness is a mental state of being as it is physical. Therefore, if we can heal the mind we can heal the body and vice versa. All you need do is change your state (location) of well-being and you can heal the illness. In my last post, Let’s Talk Therapy, i wrote about what psychotherapy is and how it plays a major role in helping to alleviate the most common types of disorders or illnesses.

When depression appears in your life, think of it as a cry for help from your subconscious. Listen to it, find out what it’s trying to tell you. Only when you confront and understand the true cause of your depression, then take action to address it, will you finally be liberated from it no matter what the temperature outside.

What Causes Depression?

Depression does not have one single cause. It can be developed for a number of different reasons, some include:

Stressful life events. An upsetting incident such as a death in the family or the breakdown of a romantic relationship can lead people to depression. Job stress or financial woes are also common causes. Early life experiences can also play a role. People who try to deal with these issues on their own and shut themselves off from family and friends are especially vulnerable to developing depression.

Personality and heredity. People who have certain personality traits are also susceptible to depression. Those who are excessively self-critical or have very low self-esteem are at particular risk. Moreover, if you have a family history of depression – such as a depressed parent or sibling – it is possible you could become depressed yourself. However, this is not a given, many people with such histories do not become depressed.

Illness and aging. Any illness can trigger depression in certain individuals, especially if it has repercussions on your activity level or sex life. In particular, people with life-threatening or recurrent illnesses are prone to depression. Thyroid problems and head injuries can also lead to mood swings. In addition, aging can make some people feel depressed.

Drug and Alcohol Use. People who turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with problems are more likely to end up even more depressed because these substances can bring on or worsen depression. Moreover, those who become addicted often experience family or work problems, which can also contribute to depression.

Giving birth. Postnatal depression can be triggered by the emotional, physical and hormonal changes that accompany giving birth as well as the responsibility and challenges of caring for a baby and changes in the family structure.

Core Symptoms of Depression

  1. A persistent low mood and/or feelings of sadness, with or without weepiness.
  2. Lack of energy and motivation: this is marked by lack of interest or pleasure in activities you may have previously enjoyed.
  3. Sleep problems
  4. Appetite changes
  5. Tiredness
  6. Sluggish movements or agitation
  7. Difficulty in concentrating and day to day problem solving
  8. Feelings of guilt and/or worthless
  9. Suicidal thoughts

How to hunt down your own depression

Rather than viewing depression as a monster to flee from, look it in the eye, investigate the feelings that you are “depressing” and avoiding. For example, you may say, “I feel depressed today.” The questions that follow should be: Why today? What am I ignoring? What issue am I not addressing?

When does depression need treatment or psychotherapy?

Any bout of depression that lasts more than two weeks can benefit from treatment, and the earlier it is begun, the better. Early treatment has the highest likelihood of bringing about full remission of symptoms and preventing relapse or recurrence. The so-called burden of depression is great, as the disorder is a major cause of missed work and poor productivity, and it has a devastating effect on relationships, family life, physical health, and general quality of life.

How Does Psychotherapy Help Depression?

Psychotherapy helps people with depression:

  • Understand the behaviors, emotions, and ideas that contribute to his or her depression.
  • Understand and identify the life problems or events — like a major illness, a death in the family, a loss of a job or a divorce — that contribute to their depression and help them understand, which aspects of those problems they may be able to solve or improve.
  • Help to restructure ways of thinking, negative attributes and attitudes someone has about himself, and ways in which faulty thinking may perpetuate depression.
  • Regain a sense of control and pleasure in life.
  • Learn coping techniques and problem-solving skills.

Types of Therapy for Depression

Therapy can be given in a variety of formats, including:

  • Individual: This therapy involves only the patient and the therapist.
  • Group: 2 or more patients may participate in therapy at the same time. Patients are able to share experiences and learn that others feel the same way, and have had the same experiences.
  • Marital/couples: This type of therapy helps spouses and partners understand why their loved one has depression, what changes in communication and behaviors can help, and what they can do to cope.
  • Family: Because family is a key part of the team that helps people with depression get better, it is sometimes helpful for family members to understand what their loved one is going through, how they themselves can cope, and what they can do to help.

Approaches to Therapy

While therapy can be done in different formats — like family, group, and individual — there are also several different approaches that mental health professionals can take to provide therapy. After talking with the patient about their depression, the therapist will decide which approach to use based on the suspected underlying factors contributing to the depression.

Therapy Tips

Therapy works best when you attend all of your scheduled appointments and participate actively in the work of treatment. The effectiveness of therapy is not a passive process depends on your active participation. It requires time, effort, and consistency. As you begin therapy, establish some goals with your therapist. Then spend time periodically reviewing your progress with your therapist.

Psychotherapy vs Counseling

Psychotherapy and counseling both use psychological methods to help patients with a mental or emotional problem or disorder.

Some people make a small distinction between the two terms: “Counseling” is a brief treatment that targets a specific symptom or situation, while “psychotherapy” is a longer-term treatment that attempts to gain more insight into someone’s problems. However, many people use the terms interchangeably and over here at Barisity we offer both services.

Energy cords and how to cut them off

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Sometimes we don’t know why it’s taking so long to achieve something or why we are always making the same mistake in our lives, or why is taking so long to overcome a situation or the reason why we have a disease that has no specific origin or why we feel bad when we are with someone, or even when we try to finish a relationship but we never succeed. That’s because the energy cords need to be cut. Humans are electromagnetic beings, we are vibrational which means we attract and repel energies like electricity.  In other words, we are composed of oscillating magnetic and electric fields just like this:

The human electromagnetic field

What Are Energy Cords?

We are all spiritual beings. Every minute of every day (including when we sleep), we are sharing energy with fellow humans, animals, and nature. Sometimes we can pick up attachments to others that do not serve ours or their highest good. Energetic bonds can happen with any chakra, or multiple chakras, within your energy body. Most of these bonds happen naturally—they are with our friends, family, children, co-workers, and neighbors. They are welcome bonds. Helpful energy bonds consist of mutual sharing, respect, trust, and love. But because we are always in a state of growth, sometimes bonds can outlive their purpose. When this happens, cord-cutting can be beneficial to both parties involved.

Cords and attachments can become very problematic for anyone doing energy or psychic work, highly sensitive people, and empaths.

A cord is created by thought and emotion; whether that progresses to a physical relationship has no bearing on the cord existing. Energy is not restricted by time or space. Often, if a relationship also becomes physical, the cord only strengthens. A good example of this is sharing your body in an intimate relationship. How much energy invested in the relationship will also affect how easy it is to remove or sever an unwanted or outgrown bond.

The reason why people cut cords with others is to generally move on from a person and let them go energetically – this means on an energy level. People who we are close to form energetic bonds with us that resemble cords of energy that link one person to the other. These are etheric cords, so think of ether as a kind of energy. Those who have seen the cords (and often we can see them in meditation for example) describe them as dark in color. The bonding itself can be light with just a slim cord, or you can be corded heavily with another through your chakras and can have multiple thick cording that literally shows your attachment, either mentally, emotionally, sexually, or all of the above.

Have you ever heard of the need to cut energy cords? Everything in the universe is energy. We can approach it by using quantic physics research – that shows us that our body has energy centers of information that are continuously sending and receiving information (or energy), creating transformation and affecting matter – or by simply noticing our body energy patterns.

We have a large magnetic field that protects us from the energies in our environment, but most of the times we don’t know how to protect ourselves from that energies that are not healthy for us and cords or attachments are created especially because most people are not conscious of this.

Cords can come from childhood or adulthood relations or even from past lives. It may be that you never felt loved by your father as a child and you are running the pattern of needing love and attention that makes you create dependency relationships with other men.

It may be that you never felt loved by your mother and you activate the pattern of needing others to fill the hole inside you, creating relationships commanded by high expectations that, obviously, never succeed. Most of these cords are running our lives subconsciously and need to be cut so we can stop feeling stuck and create space for the new in our life.



Symptoms of heavy cording include:

  • Unable to move on
  • Unable to stop thinking or obsessing about a person
  • Frequent conversations in your mind with a person
  • Frequently remembering what they said in the past, feeling their ongoing judgment or criticism
  • Arguments, sometimes daily in your mind with someone (these can be actual psychic arguments)
  • Constant memories or emotions that arise – i.e. we used to watch that show together
  • Temptation to go back to a relationship that does not serve you
  • Stalking another online through social networking, watching them compulsively
  • Unable to sleep, experiencing amnesia
  • You seem to endless process the past and what happened there
  • Deep feelings of sadness, anger, and depression around the past
  • Feelings of wanting to get revenge, or constantly aware of unfair treatment
  • Crying a whole lot, an emotional wreck
  • Turning down other offers and invitations, feeling uninterested
  • Becoming stuck in the past, not looking for new opportunities

With Whom Should We Cut Cords?

You can cut the cords with any person who is bothersome to you psychically, mentally and emotionally. This is to say anyone who sends you strong energy and who intrudes on your thoughts and emotions even when you are alone. If you are done with a person but find they always intrude on your thoughts and you can feel them around you or in your mind, you can cut the connection by cutting the etheric cords that attach the both of you.

Some people with strong sexual bonds can find relief here as well by disconnection your sexual chakra to theirs, if such a bond was once formed. If an old flame was harmful or hurtful to you in some way, being free on all levels is incomparable. You literally move on and a new space is formed around you. You can then proceed to fill that space with more amiable and pleasant thoughts and feelings.


You can also cut the cords with any person who has abused you, either physically or emotionally. Victims of any crime (rape, beating, even bullying) can form bonds with the perpetrators that continue on energetically, even long after the crime. Cutting these bonds will help healing that much faster. This will help you to release the pain and clear out your energy field or aura of that trauma.

You can certainly continue to cut the cords until they no longer recur and you have completely moved on. If a cord cutting fails, this indicates you are not willing to really let someone go yet. This is okay, it just means you aren’t truly ready to move on. There may be a lesson in this relationship you have yet to master and your current attachment is giving you the opportunity to learn the lesson for good.

There are some techniques to cut energy cords. We can use chakras cleansing, specific visualizations and meditation on cutting cords as well as aura cleansing.


It’s not an easy process, especially if you belong to the multiverse of empaths like me. Although, as good healers can facilitate our ability to heal, almost all the techniques can be applied by ourselves individually. An example would be:


  1. Find a quiet place where you can meditate. At this moment, you can light incense or do some smudging.
  2. Close your eyes and begin focusing on your breathing.
  3. Once you feel relaxed, envision a thick red cord coming from your tailbone, going deep into the earth, and tying you safely to the core. This is to ground and also to protect you.
  4. Think on the person, place, or thing that you wish to cut energy cords with.
  5. Visualize the cords and then imagine cutting them, with a scissor, a sword, burning them off or just removing them by hand.
  6. Tell this person place or thing that you love them, you wish them well, but no longer will be tied to them. Then remove the cords.
  7. After this, visualize the cord you attached to the core of the earth being untied and coming back up into your tailbone.
  8. Bring your awareness back to conscious reality, and have a good stretch.
  9. Thank your spiritual guides and leave the place.
  10. Repeat this exercise as often as you need.

What might happen after cord cutting?


Despite what you feel in the moment, cutting cords free you and allow you to quickly and painlessly move forward. Like suddenly everything starts working in your life and pushing you to another level of evolution in different areas.

You can also cut and prevent cords by forgiving, avoiding an internal (and external) speech of drama and negativity. You can also do it by avoiding people and environments that drain your energy. Overthinking about non healthy attachments to people or situations and, generally, by raising our vibration and try to be connected with nature and with the present moment.


In simple terms, you can expect to find your mind no longer dwells upon the person as the psychic attachment has been dissolved. Your mind is quieter, calmer and it is like cleaning out a closet – all those old emotions associated with that person dissolve as the communication between you ends. You now have extra space in your mind to fill with something better, and you will certainly be clearer in intent.


Imagine the freedom you can feel having that extra peace of mind, letting go of unwanted baggage, not to mention being free emotionally as well. If this sounds too good, you may be wondering why don’t we all do this on a regular basis, why don’t people know about this? The reason is simply we are never taught. In a world where we tend to believe in only what we see, such psychic cords of attachment go unnoticed and so we tend to carry unwanted energy and connections around with us many more years than we need to.

If you happen to have personal questions and need guidance on exactly how to do this. Feel free to write me. Sending everyone of you peace, freedom and love.


The transformational power of crying

In our society today there tends to be an underlying assumption that emotions are negative, and more specifically that crying is weakness, being ‘childish’ or giving into negativity. Some folks believe it’s something that is meant to be hidden, controlled or suppressed. But in reality, tears hold a special kind of power to cleanse your mind, reconnect the head and heart and realign you with the power of your soul.

Even the very popular and widely accepted “scientific studies” have validated this and shown that people do feel better after a good cry. Crying is a powerful way to let go of sadness and anger, past hurts, grief and wounds.

When you cry, it’s your body’s natural response to whatever challenging emotion has appeared in your inner space.

Crying is an act of physical, and emotional detoxification. Think of each tear as a physical representation of sadness and stress that you’re now letting go of.

If you stop yourself from crying, and don’t use some other technique to release the sadness or ‘clogged stress’ within it can and will build up to a point of depression, or overwhelm.

So if you feel like crying… Let the tears flow. Have a good cry, experience this powerful form of release, detox, unclogging and let it go.

Crying is an essential part of the healing process. 

Sometimes, due to the idea of always being strong, we forget that our bodies contain 70% percent of water which needs to move. Water is not in a solid state. It requires motion. So if you do not allow it, it will create another way to flow. Remember this, if you go through life withholding your deepest worries and sadness. These build up and affects the other major areas of our life subconsciously. It might even manifest as crying in the dream state or waking up feeling very emotional.

Have you ever woken up from a dream crying?

Perhaps you are grieving a loss and are uncomfortable crying publicly. Sometimes we believe being strong means having a stiff upper lip and holding our emotions inside. Our bodies know when we need to release the pain, waking up crying let’s the emotions escape through our tears. This happened to me when I was grieving the loss of a loved one. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to grieve and let go until I became conscious of the necessity to grieve, accept and let go.

Crying is your body’s release valve for stress, sadness, grief, anxiety and frustration. We can have tears of joy, say when a child is born or tears of relief when a difficulty has passed. Personally, I use crying as a healing tool and I am indeed very grateful when I cry because I know its power regardless of the reason. It’s a cleansing way to purge stuck emotions often held in my body. To stay healthy and release stress, I encourage my clients to cry. I use this during psychotherapy and aura cleansing as well. Tears can help people heal from hurtful psychological experiences in life, just as there are natural body processes that promote physical healing.

You may have released all the grief, or there may be more to come. Either way, when you wake up crying, it is good and healing. (Don’t you always feel much better after a cry?) Even if you don’t remember the dream, rest assured that tears are better out than in, and although you may become more aware, in the next few days, of a past event that caused you grief, you are well on the way to finally letting it go and moving on.

Crying has a purpose. 

Sometimes when we stay strong for a very long time and just suppress all our pain and emotions our body sends us a signal. Your tears is the way your body talks to you. It happens during emotional meltdown, high anxiety or depression. It is OK to cry and to be sad. We are not robots and embracing our sadness is the most empathetic act of love we could take towards ourselves.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.”

~ Washington Irving

Scan back over all your experiences of crying, and you’ll notice that they’re quite varied, not just in your reasons for crying, but in the quality of the cry itself, and in the effect that crying had on you. Was it one of those cries that left you feeling much better afterwards: relieved, lighter, less sad, more free? Or did it make you feel even worse, like you wish you had just managed to keep it contained and not cry at all?

High-quality crying is crying that maximizes crying’s healing effects. 

Society has totally brainwashed our men into perceiving tears as a sign of weakness and its only meant for women. Perhaps ‘boys don’t cry’, or you were advised to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’, or you accepted a hurtful situation as normal or something to be endured, so you packed grief away, out of sight. Or perhaps the only way to get through a situation was to pretend to yourself that it wasn’t happening, or wasn’t important, or that you were coping wonderfully, or needed to smile for others, or that you had already healed.

These, and other forms of denial, are like Band-Aids. They work on the surface, but the deeper wound still hurts, affecting how you live your life.

One day the grief finally breaks through – perhaps accompanied by a dream of a dam bursting, or a tsunami breaking – and you wake up crying.

If you can remember your dream, look for clues about your grief, as understanding the past will help you to accelerate your healing.

Crying is liberating. Sometimes, when we watch a sad movie, it’s inevitable not to cry. This is because, without realizing it, we release all the tensions and frustrations of everyday life during crying. After a shower of tears we feel tired, but also pretty much lighter and calmer, isn’t it? But what does it mean waking up crying and dreaming about tears? Are we suffering from something? Could it be a bad omen? That’s what we’re going to talk about now.

What does it mean to wake up crying?


It depends on a lot of factors when we wake up crying, not remembering what happened in the dream, means that we have repressed hurts or some trauma that we urgently need to deal with. It’s time to take stock of your life and see what ails you so much, put an end to what is bad. Living with grief only brings more suffering and still delays our achievements and goals.

Dreaming of crying with happiness

Crying with happiness indicates that you need to let your intuition speak louder. Especially if you need to make an important decision, close your eyes and silence your reason for a while. Listen to your heart and the answer will come.

Dreaming that someone else is crying

This dream can mean a partnership with an innovative person, who will add a lot to your life. It can be a new love, a partner at work or a new friendship. The important thing is to take advantage of everything that this new relation can bring and let that grow together.

Dreaming of a crying child

If you dream that a child is crying, don’t worry. It’s not a bad sign. Quite the opposite. This indicates surprises on the way, both in love and family life. Who knows, maybe a baby will come to cheer the house.

Benefits of crying include:

Pain & Stress Relief 

Mood Enhancing 

Grief Buster 

Emotional Stability 


You may need to learn to cry again

For many of us, gaining access to tears at all is a challenge. 

If, as a man, you want to reclaim crying, or if you want to help a man reclaim his ability to cry, it helps to start slow. Learning to get back in touch with sad feelings requires that we slowly start to sense the sadness, and other feelings, as sensations in our bodies, and then to follow the impulses that those sensations produce.

Men feel just as much as women, though we often need to get back in touch with the feelings we’ve lost contact with — literally get back in touch with them. Making crying sounds and motions without tears can help you retrain your body to allow crying to take place.

There’s no rush, however. Taking the time to notice sadness without tears, and to give yourself room to feel it, can be just as important as crying.

So, let’s sum it up: what does crying do? It’s a self-cleansing mechanism that helps us recover from any kind of psychological distress. Why do we cry when we’re sad? To release ourselves from stress and toxins, and ultimately bring us back to tranquility. And why does crying make you feel better? Because crying releases endorphins, which are the ultimate healing power of tears. So remember: although you have to be strong in times of adversity, sometimes you just need a good cry in order to keep going. So whenever you feel like it, cry and release yourself!

If you feel like crying, don’t suppress it… Let your tears flow so you can purify your mind, body, and emotions of stress and negativity… On the other side is a new level of peace, love, and light.

How to heal the wounded inner child

Children are born without any means to defend themselves or face the world. Children are totally dependent upon their parents for love, acceptance, and shelter. Sometimes parents fail to provide the emotional, psychological, and physical shelter required for healthy children. This results in adults who are stuck in trauma-time who remain forever ruled by an inside force, the wounded inner child. In Africa where I come from, most parents beat, punish and maltreat their children in order to discipline them. Even worse they barely listen to them which traumatizes them from an early age and they grow up with a different mentality of what love and acceptance truly is.

The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, empty and unhappy.

Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.

Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials. Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent to us as human beings.

The process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, of pain. Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.

The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on your daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.

Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.

Connect with your inner child


Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.

Signs that you have a wounded inner child

There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child. These inside parts of ourselves have a significant impact on how we see ourselves and how we behave as adults. Some signs you have a wounded child might include that :

  • You feel there’s something wrong with you
  • You experience anxiety when you face something new
  • You want to please everyone around you
  • You experience the need to be in conflict
  • You feel inadequate
  • No achievement feels enough for you
  • You always criticize yourself
  • You are rigid and perfectionist
  • You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
  • You have trusting issues
  • You never feel close to others.
  • Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
  • Are a people-pleaser
  • Are a rebel and feel alive when in conflict with someone else
  • You are a hoarder
  • Are not able to let go of possessions and people
  • Experience anxiety with something new
  • Feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • Are driven to be a super-achiever
  • Are ridged and a perfectionist
  • Have problems starting and finishing tasks
  • Exhibit constant self-criticism
  • Feel ashamed at expressing emotions
  • Feel ashamed of your body
  • Have a deep distrust of anyone else
  • Avoid conflict, no matter what the cost
  • Have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.

Repeat supporting affirmations

  1. I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
  2. I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
  3. You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
  4. I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
  5. I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
  6. Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
  7. You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.

You can create other affirmations or mantras that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!

Write a letter to your inner child

Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.

You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.

If needed, you can repeat both practices as many times as necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.

Do an inner child visualization or meditation

Search for mantras, meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a coach or therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.

  1. Close your eyes
  2. Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
  3. Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
  4. Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
  5. Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
  6. Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
  7. Come back to where you were.
  8. Talk to your adult self to ask for aid in grown-up decisions
  9. Give rewards to yourself every day
  10. Get plenty of sleep
  11. Practice mindfulness to remain present
  12. Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward
  13. Think about the good memories you had in childhood
  14. Make new “good” memories and traditions

After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light. This is a very powerful tool that helped me personally on my healing journey anc could be the turning point you need.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.

Practice mindfulness to remain present Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward Think about the good memories you had in childhood Make new “good” memories and traditions

If you are interested in working with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet, I hope you do. If you would also like a deep healing approach or if you prefer one on one help, feel free to drop a comment down below or send me an email. Would be glad to be of assistance.