Fear of abandonment


Let’s talk about this very common fear in our society and it’s different attachment styles. The fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety about losing your loved ones. It is quite common with people who have lost a loved one. So this results into making you feel like the people in your life will disappear if you don’t put all of your efforts into relationships or you might run away from every relationship because you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. Either way, you might have a fear of abandonment.

This fear doesn’t just make a home in your chest overnight. It’s linked to the different experiences you have had with people over the years. You may feel this enormous fear because of a childhood experience or because of an abusive ex-lover.


Abandonment issues also happen when a parent does not provide the child with consistent warm or attentive interactions, leaving them feeling chronic stress and fear. Naturally children are expressive and they need love. Our body holds memory and life is like a repetitive circle. The experiences that happen during a child’s development will often continue into adulthood. This is why abandonment issues become more prevalent as you get older and can affect your relationships.

Abandonment fear could also stem from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death, separation or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.

How can the fear of abandonment be avoided?

Only the constant presence of parents or guardians in childhood, with affection and attention, can bring the security that the child needs. This way they feel that their survival will be guaranteed and they do not need to be afraid.

In the case of the child who has had conflicts in school and the unsafe partner in the adult relationship, they are both acting unconsciously as a way of drawing the attention of the mother or partner. Calling attention to yourself is an unconscious way of feeling secure.

The child begins to create mechanisms to raise the attention of parents from a very young age. When their brain realizes that their behavior is successful, that it works to gain attention, it becomes automatic so they feel safe and protected. In adult life, the same thing happens: if the fear of abandonment makes your partner try to give you more security, the insecure uses this fear as a way to gain more attention.

Types of Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues can present themselves in three insecure attachment styles. These are: 

Avoidant Attachment Style

People who follow this style don’t allow anyone to get close to them. You may feel like you can’t open up or trust others, making you appear distant, private, or withdrawn. 

Anxious Attachment Style

People with this type of attachment style cope by developing intensely close and dependent relationships with others. You may feel anxious about separating yourself from your partner and tend to be emotionally reactive. It may be easy to see conflicts as a concern that your partner may leave, which makes you act out of fear. 

Disorganized Attachment Style

People with this attachment style have difficulty remaining intimate and close but can also be inconsistent. You may feel anxious about being in a relationship or want to avoid the closeness. This attachment style may come with other potential disorders. 

Signs you are suffering from fear of abandonment

1. You give too much in relationships

Due to your fear of abandonment, if you choose to start a relationship with someone, you go all in.

You do whatever it takes to please this person and to make them happy.

This goes to the extent of forgetting about your own wants and needs, because theirs are more important to you.

However, forgetting about your own boundaries in the name of a relationship is a clear sign you have a fear of abandonment.

You give too much and receive too little.

Relationships require work from both sides.

If he doesn’t deem all your efforts to be loving and caring acts, then it’s his fault, not yours. You don’t deserve to be in a one-sided relationship.

2. You push people away to avoid rejection

Another sign of your fear of abandonment is if you choose to avoid relationships altogether.

You push people away and don’t let them see your vulnerable side all because you’re scared you’ll get attached to them.

What happens when you get attached? You give them the possibility of hurting you.

You fear rejection because it is a direct blow to your self-esteem. It literally activates your anxiety and fear of abandonment.

That’s why it’s easier to stay away from people than to give them the possibility of hurting you.

3. You are very codependent

A very obvious sign of a fear of abandonment is when you have mostly been involved in codependent relationships.

You thrive on the fact that a person makes you feel needed, even if it’s anything but healthy.

You want to be helpful in every single way possible and they exploit that.

Your previous partners might have seen that they could take advantage of your fear of abandonment and they treated you whatever way they pleased, because they knew you wouldn’t leave.

4. You feel insecure in yourself and with your partner

As said previously, a fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety and it brings a lot of insecurities into your life.

Your fear is the main reason behind the fact that you feel extremely insecure in yourself.

You’re always looking in the mirror and nitpicking all the reasons why you deserve to be heartbroken.

This also transfers into a romantic relationship because if you don’t love yourself right then you can’t love your partner right.

You’re always questioning when he’ll leave you and you see every small fight as the end.

When he’s mad at you for whatever reason, you see that as a sign that he’ll leave you immediately, even if it’s not true.

5. You persist with unhealthy relationships

If you have a fear of abandonment then you should be able to spot it in the number of unhealthy relationships in your life.

Whether it is romantic relationships, friendships, or very unhealthy family links, you always end up as the victim.

This is because you sabotage connections by either being extremely emotionally unavailable or being very clingy.

If the other party is the one who is toxic toward you, you might not even realize it out of the fear that you might get your feelings hurt.

So you end up staying in that relationship as you can’t help it.

6. You’re very clingy

Because of your insecurities and your fear of abandonment, you can also be extremely clingy. What does this involve?

Besides always wanting to be physically around your partner, you’re also always texting and calling him.

If you do get a moment away from your partner, you get extremely anxious and you don’t even realize you’re being clingy.

Your fears and anxieties are valid, but you need to realize that no one is going to leave you permanently just because they have gone out with their friends for the night.

7. You’re jealous

Another very clear sign of a fear of abandonment is when you yourself are an extremely jealous person.

You fear that your partner will find someone better than you and leave you for them.

You see every other woman as a threat.

This leads to very uncomfortable conversations with your partner, where you’re always asking him about the women in his life, even if it’s just co-workers.

A little bit of jealousy can be adorable at times, but when it becomes a symptom of your fear of abandonment, it’s not that cute anymore.

8. You’re in a state of constant anxiety

When you think of your partner, your first instinct isn’t to feel happiness, but rather anxiety.

Your smile fades whenever you think of him and you feel your stomach make a flip.

All of this because you think about all the bad things that could happen in your relationship that may lead to a breakup.

Your first thought might even be the last time you did something wrong in your relationship and he got mad.

This anxiety doesn’t leave you. It gets less obvious when you’re right next to him, but it never truly disappears.

9. You feel unworthy of love

Your insecurities, your clinginess, everything comes from a deeply-rooted fear of abandonment. Just like the fact that you feel unworthy of love.

You feel like no one will ever be able to love you. Even if they say they do, you take that with a grain of salt.

Long-Term Effects of Abandonment Issues

A person who has experienced abandonment may be more likely to have long-term mental health issues. These are often based on the fear that abandonment will recur. A child who was abandoned by a parent or guardian may have mood swings or anger issues. These behaviors become an automated lifestyle that can alienate potential intimate partners and friends. A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support, love or care.

Abandonment fears can impair a person’s ability to trust others. They may make it harder for a person to feel worthy or be intimate. These fears could make a person prone to anxiety, depression, codependence, or other issues. Someone who lacks self-esteem due to childhood abandonment may seek relationships that reinforce their beliefs because that’s the language they understand.

Maintain a positive mind is a way to treat this fear


To overcome this fear, you need to do the following:

  • Maintain a positive attitude and mindset
  • Learn about yourself
  • Understand the people around you
  • Practice the habit of forgiveness
  • Say what you feel (Be clear in your communication with anyone including your partner)

When it comes to relationships, usually the detachment in relationships happens because of some concern that a person is feeling and that their thinking cannot be in focus. The greater the degree of understanding and companionship to overcome this problem, the greater the chances of living healthy relationships, which are based on affection and not on lack or fear of losing. When you are aware of the feelings you both experience, you are most likely to live in peace and harmony.

Everyday is a test

If you thought that life’s tests were over when you finished school, guess again. There are so many tests in life, and they can be much more difficult than biology or physics. And there isn’t that much homework we can do to prepare for these kinds of tests, either. When we pass life’s tests, we discover that we do have that inner strength after all.


In school you are taught a lesson and given a test, in life you are given a test and taught a lesson.

Have you ever wondered what the purpose of your life is? Common answers are “happiness,” financial success”, true ❤ or “satisfaction.” While these are all worthwhile goals, I say the purpose of your life is to face head on, every challenge, every test, as a chance for you to become the person you are meant to be. Life is a test for you to be and become your best and highest self.

When you face the tests of life, learn from them and grow with them, you become that person. The tests of life require you to call on the inner resources residing deep inside you.

In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson and it turns out to be that everyday is a TEST. Every moment there is a new challenge, ( which is always an opportunity).

In my local language we say “ problem no dey finish”, which means there is always something else after this. We have to find our way in the world, and all along we face tests of physical illness, mental troubles, financial reversals, unfulfilled expectations, and loss.

Life is indeed a test of many things, our faith & faithlessness, our convictions & priorities, our endurance & patience, and in the very end, our ultimate desires.

The way of a true spiritual life actually begins where we are now in the mess of our lives.

We’ve lost touch with our souls. We’ve been nourishing our minds, our relational skills, our theological knowledge, our psychological well-being, our physiological health… but we’ve abandoned our souls. ‘Mike Yaconelli.’

The most powerful weapon on earth is a human soul that’s on fire! Ignite that spark by recognizing the lessons of all you had to go through to be where you are right now.

On the video below, i talked about how to recognize the tests so you don’t have to repeat the lessons in order to graduate to the best and highest version of YOU!


Self Judgment

We live in a world of control. A world that requires push and pull, as in, it requires gravity to exist. It’s no wonder why we are always at war with ourselves. However, we must learn to be in control of ourselves, what concerns us, what matters to us in our everyday lifestyle, not just personally, but environmentally, universally.

We must learn to find balance in the chaos, no matter how overwhelmed you might be. The fact is, you have every reason to be here right now and if you are reading this right now , and it happens to be that you find yourself confused, doubting, or listening to that criticizing voice in your head, critiquing your life, telling you what you can and cannot say or do, you have the power to transform the energy to love. No matter what you may be experiencing, do not judge yourself. It’s happening for a reason plus that is not your duty, it’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is, to “Do as you may in alignment with your conscience” and let the rest play out.

Stop criticizing yourself. Choose self love. If you love yourself, others will love you, if you judge and criticize yourself, others will judge and criticize you. It is what it is. You should know that whenever you judge yourself, you insert fear into your aura and that lowers your vibration, your battery life, your electro magnetic voltage. Look at it like a phone fully charged, and the more you interact with the phone the battery life reduces, for instance, fear would be like an app, Instagram or maybe a game you’re used to playing on the phone, your battery weakens way faster because of the amount of energy the app has and the time you spend on it. Your daily energy and lifespan increases or reduces based on what you do every day. So, be nice to yourself, be kind, practice self love instead of self judgement.

As it turns out, there are so many different things happening in our society today, distracting, upsetting and emotionally controlling people. As a result, anxiety, depression, fear, self doubt, criticism, self judgment and different types mental issues gradually begin to flood in.. It is your duty to be responsible for what you think, eat and do because you are a part of the universe, a part of the whole and if you do your duty, others will do theirs and on and on.. Then, in little or no time the world will become light again, even better than we have imagined. It will be the change we’ve been collectively working on.

Yoga and it’s health benefits

As an empowerment coach, I’ve come to realize that early morning stretch or exercise requires discipline and yoga is a very powerful way to discipline your mind through your body. It has so many benefits including mental health wellness, emotional health balance and so on ..

Yoga is a spiritual, mental and physical practice that has been around since ages. With time, people have discovered quite a number of health benefits associated with yoga. Yoga does more than burning calories, make you flexible and strengthening muscles, it is a workout which involves both body and mind. For me it is one of the most potent way to connect with the divine.

Practicing yoga in the morning has so many great health benefits for your physical,mental and spiritual health.

You are allowed to communicate and unite with your body in your own way.

Yoga gives you all that a gym can, but in a peaceful, safe and more holistic way. It combines aspects of cardio, functional and strength training all in one. What more could you ask for? The best part about this workout is that it can be done at your own pace, in your own home.

Below are a few health benefits of yoga practice


• Boosts metabolism
Yoga helps in retaining the vitality in your body along with keeping it fit. It motivates you towards healthy eating and improves the metabolic system of the body.


• Helps in lowering blood sugar

Yoga not only helps in lowering blood sugar but also lowers bad cholesterol and boosts good cholesterol. It encourages weight loss and improves the body’s sensitivity to insulin.

  • Yoga improves strength, mental muscles,balance and flexibility.
  • Yoga gives your lungs room to breathe properly
  • Yoga gives you inner strength
  • Yoga gives you peace of mind
  • Yoga helps in increasing self esteem.
  • Yoga helps to perfect your posture
  • Yoga helps to protect your bone health and your spine.
  • Yoga regulates your adrenal glands.
  • Yoga makes you happier
  • Yoga uses sounds to soothe your sinuses (sound healing).
  • Yoga helps you focus
  • Yoga helps with back pain, muscle pain relief.
  • Yoga benefits kidney, liver and heart health
  • Yoga relaxes you, to help you sleep better
  • Yoga can boost your energy and brighten up your moods.
  • Yoga helps you manage stress
  • Yoga helps unite your body and mind.
  • Yoga encourages self empowerment and self care
  • Yoga is best for mental and emotional wellness

If you’re a passionate yoga practitioner, you’ve probably noticed some of the above yoga benefits—maybe you’re sleeping better or getting fewer colds or just feeling more relaxed and at ease. But if you’ve ever tried telling a newbie about the benefits of yoga, you might find that explanations like “It increases the flow of prana” or “It brings energy up your spine” fall on deaf or skeptical ears.


However, I hope you learn to enjoy the practice and lifestyle of true spirituality by incorporating daily dose of stretch, freestyle yoga flow for the spirit soul and body.🧘🏽‍♂️

Watch some of my freestyle yoga flows below. Like, share and subscribe if you enjoyed it.

Happy new and prosperous year Royalties !




The sky is falling

When was the last time you got yourself very well relaxed and just stared up at the sky. Ever heard the saying the sky is the limit ? Well, I choose to say the sky is the starting point. When you look up during the day what do you see ? The sun, maybe the moon sometimes ( early in the day ), clouds, planes etc. At night, you could see stars, planets, constellations, the moon etc.

In our 3D reality( the matrix), the sky is full of Stars ie, the celebrities, politicians, billionaires, industry rulers, government, pastors, prophets, etc. You look up to these people, as your role models, your, idols, Gods and goddesses. You listen to their directions, wish to be like them, hopelessly copy their style or swag, their words, their lifestyles, traditions, their attitudes, their teachings, their mindsets etc.

In actual reality, all of these people are falling, in terms of their careers, style of leadership, contracts with labels, secrets coming out about evil deeds, etc. This could be called Karma” but it’s actually the literal sky that embodies the stars, planets asteroids etc falling. Literally. So it reacts down in the matrix as actual people. As above so below. Remember ?

The laws of nature is not a hoax. It is simply the law that guides the web that we all are dwelling in. The minds of people are evolving really fast . Why do you see so many changes all happening at once?, good or bad are perceived by you depending on the state of mind which you’re living on. The plane of existence we live is on Earth. Yes it’s A PLANE. We are on a very gigantic plane.

Recently, I was having a conversation with an associate as to why we all want to travel the world, see places, meet new people but ever thought about the fact that we are all seeing the same sun stars and moons everywhere in the world?. Literally the same roof, no matter how long the flight or ship you traveled by.

There are so many visions that I see happening in a couple of months which are definitely mind blowing. The sky is literally falling down to earth which means earth will be the new sky and for that to be the new world, you have to be worthy to live in this new world, the world where you must be down to earth, kind, compassionate, giving , loving and fearless. These are traits that most of the stars and high ranking personals that the general population look up to rarely have. So what’s expected to happen? Well the individuals who have those characteristics will be the leaders of the new world. It is going to be a totally different world than we are used to right now. The vibration, the energy, the frequency, this is why it is called the new age. Hence the global reset, that the government is implementing to avert this from happening.

Question is, are you ready? Is this what you would like to be a part of, do you see yourself in this new world or would you rather be in the old world? Because the sky is falling with everything in it. Imagine if the rooftop of your house suddenly falls down. Every of your neighbors will see everything in the building isn’t it? Wake up and get your shit together. We are in a new age, with a totally new species ready to love and live unconditionally.

In coming months, so many “stars” will be falling, both literally and In the simulation. There are individuals scattered all over the world that are well aware of this and are preparing helplessly to stop this from happening because they would rather keep up the facade of this fake reality we are all dwelling in. The time has come for you to ascend spiritually, mentally and physically. Because 2020 was just the tip of the iceberg. We are moving into the tunnel and some people came with torch lights others came to torch the light bearers.

The purpose of the whole 2020 Age of Aquarius timeline stargate is to stabilize the Age of Aquarius positive timeline for the planet. During 2020, the dark forces have tried their hardest to prevent the positive Ascension timeline from manifesting. Now it is our collective chance for the positive Ascension timeline to be anchored, secured and stabilized forever, and to ensure that the rest of the planetary liberation process occurs smoothly and rapidly.

There will be many powerful astrological configurations in this month of December, leading to our main activation on December 21st. Each of those configurations will be a stepping stone to our main activation. First, there will be Pluto Eris square on December 10th, (today ). Pluto Eris square is the energy of the warrior goddess fighting against establishment. Then, there will be a total Solar eclipse on December 14th which will bring rapid disillusionment in many areas for the surface population.After that, Saturn will enter Aquarius on December 17th and Jupiter will enter Aquarius a few days later on December 19th.

What’s your position in the sky? Or on earth? Are you in the position to help people with your light? Or you would rather torch the universe with yours?, Whats your role? The torchbearer or the light-bearer. Join us as we elevate the consciousness of the people. Be your brothers keeper.