The creator reflects the creation. When you look at life, the earth, air, the ocean, trees, plants, the stars , sun etc . It’s all beautiful . When asked to look at your life, you remember the people and experiences that came with them in it too and that’s what makes a difference.
The fear of death has limited the capabilities of so many people. In my lifetime or in any. The world has been so brainwashed that humans are scared of death, which is totally a part of the wheel and circle of life. It’s always death and rebirth endlessly. That’s the game of life. So get with the program so you don’t leave the planet unfulfilled.
Accepting death comes with the release of fear. Because death is real and fear is not. Think about that for a second. Fear is air. You never see what you might be scared of. You think or imagine it 90% of the time. The mind is so powerful that if you don’t get a hold of it, it’ll take you places you don’t want to be. The mind is a traveler, so it wanders everywhere and anywhere. It was put in you so you can be the pilot of your mind and direct it where you want it to go. Not the other way around.
So many people have died only because they were scared to die. You can imagine how big of an illusion death is. Think about it this way . In your body there are trillions of cells aka selves ( trillion versions of you ) co existing . The good the bad and the ugly cells all emanate from inside you. Over time as the wheel of time turns you grow and some of them die due to the fact that they’re not activated etc .There are still trillions of you because as the bad eggs or cells or “selves” die, a part of you dies, a thought , habit or pattern. These dead cells you excrete, either via poop or sweat, urine etc. Since they are now external and are no longer living in their original habitat, they take shape or form of their new home, some become manure or fertilizers and grow plants etc.
They always re- emerge because it was a living cell. So all it does is live and die and live and die. Which is completely a part of the circle of life.
You are not just one person. You are a trillion people in one person. You are not one in a million you are a million and one in a cell(selve).
Your body is a living organism . A cell or habitat for you,your ancestors and your unborn children. So you have automatic access to your future and past because they’re all living inside you. ( This is why you hear people say, all you need is within you. You only have to access it.)
The fear of death was a program designed to separate you from the entirety of yourself . The idea is, if they can get you to believe that you are here to eat, poop, sleep, talk repeat. Then you may not exactly have a purpose or reason to be here. (Which makes you dissatisfied hence you hate life).
Death is actually the same as life only from a different perspective.
To live is to die again and again.
Accept the entirety of your existence because you are capable of things you see in sci-fi movies. Those selves are inside you waiting on your thought pattern to change etc to get activated. You are the shepherd of your mind . Guide it.
Accept death and lose the fear. In this post, Wake up, the sun is up!, I explained how the sun dies and comes up again every morning just like how you sleep( die) and wake up again everyday.
Have you read my book Sex Consciousness yet? If not what are you waiting for? Knowledge like this could be all you need to reactivate your limitless self. (Cell)
Leave a comment down below if you would listen and subscribe to my podcast, where we can unlearn and reprogram ourselves as we already do here at Barisity.
Let’s talk about this very common fear in our society and it’s different attachment styles. The fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety about losing your loved ones. It is quite common with people who have lost a loved one. So this results into making you feel like the people in your life will disappear if you don’t put all of your efforts into relationships or you might run away from every relationship because you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. Either way, you might have a fear of abandonment.
This fear doesn’t just make a home in your chest overnight. It’s linked to the different experiences you have had with people over the years. You may feel this enormous fear because of a childhood experience or because of an abusive ex-lover.
Abandonment issues also happen when a parent does not provide the child with consistent warm or attentive interactions, leaving them feeling chronic stress and fear. Naturally children are expressive and they need love. Our body holds memory and life is like a repetitive circle. The experiences that happen during a child’s development will often continue into adulthood. This is why abandonment issues become more prevalent as you get older and can affect your relationships.
Abandonment fear could also stem from childhood loss. This loss could be related to a traumatic event, such as the loss of a parent through death, separation or divorce. It can also come from not getting enough physical or emotional care. These early childhood experiences can lead to a fear of being abandoned by others later in life.
How can the fear of abandonment be avoided?
Only the constant presence of parents or guardians in childhood, with affection and attention, can bring the security that the child needs. This way they feel that their survival will be guaranteed and they do not need to be afraid.
In the case of the child who has had conflicts in school and the unsafe partner in the adult relationship, they are both acting unconsciously as a way of drawing the attention of the mother or partner. Calling attention to yourself is an unconscious way of feeling secure.
The child begins to create mechanisms to raise the attention of parents from a very young age. When their brain realizes that their behavior is successful, that it works to gain attention, it becomes automatic so they feel safe and protected. In adult life, the same thing happens: if the fear of abandonment makes your partner try to give you more security, the insecure uses this fear as a way to gain more attention.
Types of Abandonment Issues
Abandonment issues can present themselves in three insecure attachment styles. These are:
Avoidant Attachment Style
People who follow this style don’t allow anyone to get close to them. You may feel like you can’t open up or trust others, making you appear distant, private, or withdrawn.
Anxious Attachment Style
People with this type of attachment style cope by developing intensely close and dependent relationships with others. You may feel anxious about separating yourself from your partner and tend to be emotionally reactive. It may be easy to see conflicts as a concern that your partner may leave, which makes you act out of fear.
Disorganized Attachment Style
People with this attachment style have difficulty remaining intimate and close but can also be inconsistent. You may feel anxious about being in a relationship or want to avoid the closeness. This attachment style may come with other potential disorders.
Signs you are suffering from fear of abandonment
1. You give too much in relationships
Due to your fear of abandonment, if you choose to start a relationship with someone, you go all in.
You do whatever it takes to please this person and to make them happy.
This goes to the extent of forgetting about your own wants and needs, because theirs are more important to you.
However, forgetting about your own boundaries in the name of a relationship is a clear sign you have a fear of abandonment.
You give too much and receive too little.
Relationships require work from both sides.
If he doesn’t deem all your efforts to be loving and caring acts, then it’s his fault, not yours. You don’t deserve to be in a one-sided relationship.
2. You push people away to avoid rejection
Another sign of your fear of abandonment is if you choose to avoid relationships altogether.
You push people away and don’t let them see your vulnerable side all because you’re scared you’ll get attached to them.
What happens when you get attached? You give them the possibility of hurting you.
You fear rejection because it is a direct blow to your self-esteem. It literally activates your anxiety and fear of abandonment.
That’s why it’s easier to stay away from people than to give them the possibility of hurting you.
3. You are very codependent
A very obvious sign of a fear of abandonment is when you have mostly been involved in codependent relationships.
You thrive on the fact that a person makes you feel needed, even if it’s anything but healthy.
You want to be helpful in every single way possible and they exploit that.
Your previous partners might have seen that they could take advantage of your fear of abandonment and they treated you whatever way they pleased, because they knew you wouldn’t leave.
4. You feel insecure in yourself and with your partner
As said previously, a fear of abandonment is a form of anxiety and it brings a lot of insecurities into your life.
Your fear is the main reason behind the fact that you feel extremely insecure in yourself.
You’re always looking in the mirror and nitpicking all the reasons why you deserve to be heartbroken.
This also transfers into a romantic relationship because if you don’t love yourself right then you can’t love your partner right.
You’re always questioning when he’ll leave you and you see every small fight as the end.
When he’s mad at you for whatever reason, you see that as a sign that he’ll leave you immediately, even if it’s not true.
5. You persist with unhealthy relationships
If you have a fear of abandonment then you should be able to spot it in the number of unhealthy relationships in your life.
Whether it is romantic relationships, friendships, or very unhealthy family links, you always end up as the victim.
This is because you sabotage connections by either being extremely emotionally unavailable or being very clingy.
If the other party is the one who is toxic toward you, you might not even realize it out of the fear that you might get your feelings hurt.
So you end up staying in that relationship as you can’t help it.
6. You’re very clingy
Because of your insecurities and your fear of abandonment, you can also be extremely clingy. What does this involve?
Besides always wanting to be physically around your partner, you’re also always texting and calling him.
If you do get a moment away from your partner, you get extremely anxious and you don’t even realize you’re being clingy.
Your fears and anxieties are valid, but you need to realize that no one is going to leave you permanently just because they have gone out with their friends for the night.
7. You’re jealous
Another very clear sign of a fear of abandonment is when you yourself are an extremely jealous person.
You fear that your partner will find someone better than you and leave you for them.
You see every other woman as a threat.
This leads to very uncomfortable conversations with your partner, where you’re always asking him about the women in his life, even if it’s just co-workers.
A little bit of jealousy can be adorable at times, but when it becomes a symptom of your fear of abandonment, it’s not that cute anymore.
8. You’re in a state of constant anxiety
When you think of your partner, your first instinct isn’t to feel happiness, but rather anxiety.
Your smile fades whenever you think of him and you feel your stomach make a flip.
All of this because you think about all the bad things that could happen in your relationship that may lead to a breakup.
Your first thought might even be the last time you did something wrong in your relationship and he got mad.
This anxiety doesn’t leave you. It gets less obvious when you’re right next to him, but it never truly disappears.
9. You feel unworthy of love
Your insecurities, your clinginess, everything comes from a deeply-rooted fear of abandonment. Just like the fact that you feel unworthy of love.
You feel like no one will ever be able to love you. Even if they say they do, you take that with a grain of salt.
Long-Term Effects of Abandonment Issues
A person who has experienced abandonment may be more likely to have long-term mental health issues. These are often based on the fear that abandonment will recur. A child who was abandoned by a parent or guardian may have mood swings or anger issues. These behaviors become an automated lifestyle that can alienate potential intimate partners and friends. A child’s self-esteem can also be affected by lack of parental support, love or care.
Abandonment fears can impair a person’s ability to trust others. They may make it harder for a person to feel worthy or be intimate. These fears could make a person prone to anxiety, depression, codependence, or other issues. Someone who lacks self-esteem due to childhood abandonment may seek relationships that reinforce their beliefs because that’s the language they understand.
Maintain a positive mind is a way to treat this fear
To overcome this fear, you need to do the following:
- Maintain a positive attitude and mindset
- Learn about yourself
- Understand the people around you
- Practice the habit of forgiveness
- Say what you feel (Be clear in your communication with anyone including your partner)
When it comes to relationships, usually the detachment in relationships happens because of some concern that a person is feeling and that their thinking cannot be in focus. The greater the degree of understanding and companionship to overcome this problem, the greater the chances of living healthy relationships, which are based on affection and not on lack or fear of losing. When you are aware of the feelings you both experience, you are most likely to live in peace and harmony.
If you thought that life’s tests were over when you finished school, guess again. There are so many tests in life, and they can be much more difficult than biology or physics. And there isn’t that much homework we can do to prepare for these kinds of tests, either. When we pass life’s tests, we discover that we do have that inner strength after all.
In school you are taught a lesson and given a test, in life you are given a test and taught a lesson.
Have you ever wondered what the purpose of your life is? Common answers are “happiness,” financial success”, true ❤ or “satisfaction.” While these are all worthwhile goals, I say the purpose of your life is to face head on, every challenge, every test, as a chance for you to become the person you are meant to be. Life is a test for you to be and become your best and highest self.
When you face the tests of life, learn from them and grow with them, you become that person. The tests of life require you to call on the inner resources residing deep inside you.
In life you are given a test that teaches you a lesson and it turns out to be that everyday is a TEST. Every moment there is a new challenge, ( which is always an opportunity).
In my local language we say “ problem no dey finish”, which means there is always something else after this. We have to find our way in the world, and all along we face tests of physical illness, mental troubles, financial reversals, unfulfilled expectations, and loss.
Life is indeed a test of many things, our faith & faithlessness, our convictions & priorities, our endurance & patience, and in the very end, our ultimate desires.
The way of a true spiritual life actually begins where we are now in the mess of our lives.
We’ve lost touch with our souls. We’ve been nourishing our minds, our relational skills, our theological knowledge, our psychological well-being, our physiological health… but we’ve abandoned our souls. ‘Mike Yaconelli.’
The most powerful weapon on earth is a human soul that’s on fire! Ignite that spark by recognizing the lessons of all you had to go through to be where you are right now.
On the video below, i talked about how to recognize the tests so you don’t have to repeat the lessons in order to graduate to the best and highest version of YOU!
We live in a world of control. A world that requires push and pull, as in, it requires gravity to exist. It’s no wonder why we are always at war with ourselves. However, we must learn to be in control of ourselves, what concerns us, what matters to us in our everyday lifestyle, not just personally, but environmentally, universally.
We must learn to find balance in the chaos, no matter how overwhelmed you might be. The fact is, you have every reason to be here right now and if you are reading this right now , and it happens to be that you find yourself confused, doubting, or listening to that criticizing voice in your head, critiquing your life, telling you what you can and cannot say or do, you have the power to transform the energy to love. No matter what you may be experiencing, do not judge yourself. It’s happening for a reason plus that is not your duty, it’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is, to “Do as you may in alignment with your conscience” and let the rest play out.
Stop criticizing yourself. Choose self love. If you love yourself, others will love you, if you judge and criticize yourself, others will judge and criticize you. It is what it is. You should know that whenever you judge yourself, you insert fear into your aura and that lowers your vibration, your battery life, your electro magnetic voltage. Look at it like a phone fully charged, and the more you interact with the phone the battery life reduces, for instance, fear would be like an app, Instagram or maybe a game you’re used to playing on the phone, your battery weakens way faster because of the amount of energy the app has and the time you spend on it. Your daily energy and lifespan increases or reduces based on what you do every day. So, be nice to yourself, be kind, practice self love instead of self judgement.
As it turns out, there are so many different things happening in our society today, distracting, upsetting and emotionally controlling people. As a result, anxiety, depression, fear, self doubt, criticism, self judgment and different types mental issues gradually begin to flood in.. It is your duty to be responsible for what you think, eat and do because you are a part of the universe, a part of the whole and if you do your duty, others will do theirs and on and on.. Then, in little or no time the world will become light again, even better than we have imagined. It will be the change we’ve been collectively working on.