How to heal the wounded inner child

Children are born without any means to defend themselves or face the world. Children are totally dependent upon their parents for love, acceptance, and shelter. Sometimes parents fail to provide the emotional, psychological, and physical shelter required for healthy children. This results in adults who are stuck in trauma-time who remain forever ruled by an inside force, the wounded inner child. In Africa where I come from, most parents beat, punish and maltreat their children in order to discipline them. Even worse they barely listen to them which traumatizes them from an early age and they grow up with a different mentality of what love and acceptance truly is.

The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, empty and unhappy.

Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.

Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials. Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent to us as human beings.

The process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, of pain. Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.

The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on your daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.

Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.

Connect with your inner child


Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.

Signs that you have a wounded inner child

There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child. These inside parts of ourselves have a significant impact on how we see ourselves and how we behave as adults. Some signs you have a wounded child might include that :

  • You feel there’s something wrong with you
  • You experience anxiety when you face something new
  • You want to please everyone around you
  • You experience the need to be in conflict
  • You feel inadequate
  • No achievement feels enough for you
  • You always criticize yourself
  • You are rigid and perfectionist
  • You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
  • You have trusting issues
  • You never feel close to others.
  • Have a deep feeling that there is something wrong with you
  • Are a people-pleaser
  • Are a rebel and feel alive when in conflict with someone else
  • You are a hoarder
  • Are not able to let go of possessions and people
  • Experience anxiety with something new
  • Feel guilty for setting boundaries
  • Are driven to be a super-achiever
  • Are ridged and a perfectionist
  • Have problems starting and finishing tasks
  • Exhibit constant self-criticism
  • Feel ashamed at expressing emotions
  • Feel ashamed of your body
  • Have a deep distrust of anyone else
  • Avoid conflict, no matter what the cost
  • Have a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.

Repeat supporting affirmations

  1. I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
  2. I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
  3. You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
  4. I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
  5. I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
  6. Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
  7. You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.

You can create other affirmations or mantras that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!

Write a letter to your inner child

Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.

You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.

If needed, you can repeat both practices as many times as necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.

Do an inner child visualization or meditation

Search for mantras, meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a coach or therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.

  1. Close your eyes
  2. Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
  3. Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
  4. Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
  5. Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
  6. Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
  7. Come back to where you were.
  8. Talk to your adult self to ask for aid in grown-up decisions
  9. Give rewards to yourself every day
  10. Get plenty of sleep
  11. Practice mindfulness to remain present
  12. Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward
  13. Think about the good memories you had in childhood
  14. Make new “good” memories and traditions

After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light. This is a very powerful tool that helped me personally on my healing journey anc could be the turning point you need.

Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.

Practice mindfulness to remain present Tell yourself that you love you even if it feels awkward Think about the good memories you had in childhood Make new “good” memories and traditions

If you are interested in working with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet, I hope you do. If you would also like a deep healing approach or if you prefer one on one help, feel free to drop a comment down below or send me an email. Would be glad to be of assistance.

Get your Butt out of the way

Ever wondered why they say the “Truth is bitter”? Well, it is bitter because it is straightforward, direct, and doesn’t always feel or taste good. Just as certain kinds of food or drinks, maybe teas taste quite awful but are very good for your health. In fact, most medicines are usually bitter. See where I’m going with this ?

We have grown and outgrown so many things internally and externally as we evolve on this planet as a specie over the centuries but one thing that has been the same since the beginning of time is the bitter taste of the truth and why people dislike or find it difficult to identify it.

Tell yourself the truth. If you need to yell at yourself to get the message do it, if you need to scream or shout or cry. Do it. Just freaking do it. Get your butt( your buts) out of the way. Stop making excuses. Sitting on your butt, feeling sorry for yourself will not save or change your life and situation. You have to get up, face your shit and get out of your own way with your words and daily attitude.

You know why it’s important to get out of your way?

No one will save you. Unfortunately. It’s not anyone’s duty but yours, you have to master yourself and learn to not look outside of yourself otherwise you’ll keep being disappointed or worse distracted. Remember, tomorrow never comes plus everyone and everything is a distraction. You come first. Your priority is YOU. Yes YOU!. Your physical, mental and emotional health comes first. So in order to be a better person, irregardless of what you might have going on for you, You have to separate the beans from the shaft. Although, it may seem shaky at first, you have to keep moving. You are never alone. Keep trying. Your story may be the motivation someone out there needs. Don’t stop. You are more than capable and this is what you signed up for.

You must get out of your head and get your butt out of the way. This is how you become the highest and best version you can be.

Let’s get it fam!

The gift of the present moment

Are you present with yourself ?

Are you here right now? Is it possible you’re still having other thoughts cross your mind even as you’re reading this ?

Well, just checking in..

Most of us experience continuous chatter in our minds. We have so many countless thoughts about the future, the past, or judgments about what is, which just seems to flow through our minds as if in a neverending stream.

Remember, time is now and your mind is a very powerful machine that can be used to build and also to destroy. Your mind works both clockwise and anticlockwise. You’re able to dwell in the past just the same way you fantasize about the future and this creates continuous chatter in your mind.

This chatter, has it’s consequences and disadvantages. The main one is that we are continuously distracted from what’s actually going on in the present moment. In other words, we tend to experience life through our thoughts rather than through direct experience.

When you are present with yourself, you begin a new story. You create a new reality. You are creating in the now. The highest reality is THE GIFT OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Everyday is a gift, a present. Open it up and live it.

When you refuse to open up yourself and live in the now, overthinking, worry, anxiety, depression and many other low vibrations find a new home through a hole in your aura to gladly enter.

We live in a mental world. So it requires a bit of discipline to live in the now and a lot of love and gratitude. If I were you, I’ld choose right now because it is all you are certain of.

Every thing you might have or had or want is either in the past or in the future. They are imaginary (the mentality ie, it’s all in the head). It is not present, not now. The now is the present moment. The present reality.

Where are you mentally now?

Do you know where you are emotionally now?

What about as an evolving being right now?

These are the questions you should ask yourself as you evolve on this endless journey. Below is a video talking about the advantages and benefits of living in the present moment.



If you want to experience the benefits of living in the present, you want to start using ways that allow you to focus on the present moment little by little. 

It’s a matter of moving your attention away from your thoughts and towards what’s actually happening here now.

The present is a gift, open it up.

The power and benefits of grounding

Grounding is a spiritual term, referring to centering your soul in your body, and in turn, connecting it with Mother Earth. When these connections are strong, it can help you feel safer and more in touch with the earth and Mother Nature. If you experience a lot of fear and anxiety in your day-to-day, it is possible that you have become ungrounded. Practice centering yourself via grounding or earthing as it is widely called.

Usually, the term grounding is often applied to stabilizing electricity. The world is made up of electrical and magnetic fields or currents (electromagnetic), including our bodies. We are endlessly emitting vibrational signals out from our organs, while also receiving them from the objects around us. Simply put, when our skin comes into contact with the ground, the molecules in our bodies receive an extra boost of vital energy.

Grounding is like when a baby connects with the mother’s womb by drinking her milk. Grounding yourself is simply connecting yourself to the ground, the soil, the place you came from and the place you’ll be buried in when you die.

What is the ground ? “The Ground” is simply the surface of planet earth. According to science, the ground is the reference point in an electrical circuit from which voltages are “measured”. According to psychology, Grounding is simply a term used in conjunction with the energy fields around us. This is why sometimes the words centering and grounding are used interchangeably. Being grounded means that we’re content with who we are. It means that we are sure of ourselves and have confidence in the decisions we are making.

When we ground ourselves, we’re intentionally calming or slowing down our emotions and getting more in touch with our internal and external worlds. This is a very powerful way to balance your yin and yang. It is a great way to center yourself.

Earthing or grounding is the practice of physically connecting oneself as closely as possible to the earth by going barefoot, lying on the ground, sitting or standing. The energy of the earth (the bare floor) has energy that can heal both physical and emotional illnesses. You might be wondering how is that ? Well, the earth is negatively charged, so, when a human body makes direct contact with the earth, the earth’s electrons neutralize the free radicals in the person’s body.

How do you ground? That’s quite simple, easy and perhaps the most intriguing, and most criticized, aspect of grounding is its simplicity. It proposes the idea that all you need, in order to be your most healthy, revitalized self, is to spend time connecting with nature.

Here’s what to do —- Find a comfortable seat on the earth, or you can choose to stand, Close your eyes and breath deeply. Feel the supporting soil underneath. Imagine roots stemming out from the base of your spine and into the core of the earth. Reach as far down as you can imagine, fractal roots surrounded by and connected to Mother Earth. Spend a few breaths embodying this strong, feminine, empowering and supportive energy. This connection is always available to you. Return to your heart center and send your blessings of gratitude to mother earth out into the world.

Mantras and words can be very powerful tools to use whilst grounding, they hold their own vibration, so the thoughts and words you speak impact the energetic fields around you.

There are no consequences to grounding, only the opportunity to benefit your overall health and well-being. Remember you are wearing a bathing suit and planet called “Earth”.

Save your energy and focus on yourself

Feed your focus and starve your distractions is a quote I’m sure you must have come across one way or another. But as hue-man beings, we tend to rush everything including breathing, reading etc. Try to read this is as slow and deliberate as possible.

SAVE YOUR ENERGY, FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND GET FAR AWAY FROM DISTRACTIONS.

The world at large is going through a spiritual cleanse, more like karmic reset. But majority of us see things as the media wants us to perceive it. When do we get to the point when we realize that most of what we see is not what is really happening ? When do we get to that point? Are we going to wait until 2025 to realize that we are all pawns in the matrix until you WAKE UP and THINK FOR YOURSELF?

You are a piece to the puzzle. The universe is a puzzle and every living being has a ROLE to play. Your duty is to figure out what your role is and be exceptionally great at it.

For instance, If we are deprived of food for too long, our bodies won’t have enough energy left to perform physical tasks. If we don’t sleep for two days straight, we won’t have enough energy to partake in a meaningful conversation. Not eating, or not sleeping will drain us of our energy reserves. We all understand this because it’s common sense.

But there are also many other negative habits, which we simply aren’t aware of – slowly robbing us of any extra energy we might have. These habits include: overeating, long hours in front of the TV, compulsive complaining, etc.

If you want to get something great done in your life, you must first be able to adopt habits that preserve your energy, and free yourself of habits that waste it.

2020 is a perfect example of why you should focus on yourself , anything can happen which I believe means one has to be prepared for absolutely anything at this point. As a matter of fact, this is going to be the new norm.( wearing of masks which hide your identity ie prisoners, social distancing, lockdowns, food scarcity etc.) We are OUR ONLY SAVIORS and we have to do better. The very least you can do is SPEAK UP, FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM, or better still fight for the unborn children because this is new world they’ll be born into. We can only change our reality by changing our point of focus.

Focus requires concentration, patience and attention. In other to achieve anything exceptionally you need to pay attention right? So, question is, what are you paying attention to ? Your mental and spiritual development? Your physical health ? Your thinking patterns ? Your trauma responses? What are you putting your energy on ? The media, the mass violence happening all over the world? Politics ? Your career? You decide YOUR FUTURE by your PRESENT. Choose wisely.

Save your energy, face your demons instead. Focus on your priorities. Make yourself your one number priority. Turn the lens around to yourself and see yourself for what you truly are. DO YOU LIKE YOU? Do you like yourself and your current habits ? Are you around the people that elevate your mind state or are you around people who make you feel less of yourself?, Are you getting better at improving your self as a whole? What are you waiting for ? A prophet ? A UFO? Wake up and do what you have to do now. So you don’t get dropped like a fly when the awakened souls transcend. Be your own motivator and guide. Look within you for acceptance not outside you.

Save your energy. It is already a lot of work to focus on yourself. How about you make that a priority and see how much less time you have for anything else.